Monday, January 11, 2010

Ice Age 4 - The Seniors Emerge.

Like a bear emerging from hibernation, I decided the time, and the temperature, was right for leaving the house this afternoon. I'd been trapped inside by the cold weather for several days as, although we had no snow here exactly, the arctic temps had piled up loads of cold air against the doors and so we just couldn't get them open !

So for the last 4 days we've had to live on pizza slices and toilet water, huddled in our blankets around the 4 portable heaters, swapping stories of warmer days when steaks roamed the land and people wore flip flops.

But at 1pm when the temperature in the lanai hit 73, it was time to switch off the heaters, discard the blankets and check if all that cold air had 'melted' enough to venture outside.

It had and I did.

I soon came upon a scene of total devastation. Dead vegetation and fallen oranges told their own tales. The cold spell had wreaked havoc and let loose the dogs of.....oh wait.....that's something else entirely. The cold spell had caused a lot of damage though - as seen in these photos that your intrepid reporter took, at no small risk to his personal safety.

I'm sure that nature will do a 'new for old' deal eventually and order will be restored.

Other parts of the park were just as beautiful as ever and it was as if the wildlife had decided to stretch their legs and wings as well because they were everywhere. Snakes and gators were basking in the sunshine, birds were wading in the shallows of the lake and sunny Buttonwood Bay was living up to its scenic reputation.

The clunk of bocce balls and the whoooosh of the shuffleboard pucks could be heard as the park residents came out of their houses and began to enjoy the facilities again. Drunken seniors wobbled on their walkers and the usual group of AARPs huddled in dark corners shooting up on heroin, crack and meth. No not really. Not on Medicare anyway !

It'll probably be the weekend before the pools are opened up again and today I found them covered over and the entrance gates firmly locked. What does that MEAN ? Firmly locked ? As opposed to what, exactly ? Locked but not very firmly really and you could push them open if you wanted.

So no swimming, water aerobics or wind surfing for a few more days then. I've been doing my exercises in the shower since the cold snap came and it's just not the same.

On Sunday I think I pulled a muscle doing a high kick and managed to send my bottle of Oil of Olay shampoo over the curtain and into the toilet bowl. I think the top wasn't on properly as every time we flush the toilet now, bubbles fill the bowl and the place smells like a Turkish whore house. I've heard.

It's due to get down to -2C overnight so although we're not out of the woods yet, there is bright warm sunlight at the end of the tunnel.

I'm ready to get my flip flops on and rush towards it.


Daphne said...

Ahhh it's good to see Buttonwood Bay with some sunshine again, and I'm glad you managed to get outside after all the cold.
It's even thawing in Leeds. Though I think any alligators here would be frozen solid.

Juanita said...

Incredible "death" of plants....some are cleaning out over here on the coast...but you are south of the orange trucks are rolling, rolling, rolling......

Yorkshire Pudding said...

Grrrr! Are you taking the p... Michael or what? I have had to order half a dozen huskies from Alaska to pull my sled round Sheffield's Arctic streets. A local woman of ninety froze to death in her snowy garden. Over in Sebring there's nothing to complain about sir.

Jennyta said...

May I add that north Wales is in a similar situation to Sheffield. That said, those photos of frostbitten plants are very sad. Hope you can get your flip flops out again soon - and that I can stop wearing wellies and skis!

jay said...

There's nothing sadder than a wilter palm leaf, is there? Poor things. *Sheds a tear on behalf of palm leaves in Florida, but NOT on behalf of Silverback who still has it warmer than we do, so there).

Cold air piling up against the doors, drunken seniors and firmly locked pools. You certainly have a way with words, my friend. ROFL!

Punctuation said...

The dogs, Lisa, Britty and myself have put in a request to Mother Nature for America to turn all hot an sunny again now please.

Sparkly white stuff was nice for a day or so and hilarious to see YouTube videos of cars sliding sideways downhill but, really, we'd like to go in the pool now and get the grill/BBQ out.


CLS said...

It is indeed a "mirthful" view you present - - however, while you were 'caved up' many of us were about. It was a surprise, however, to have you walk up yesterday. It will be interesting to see how the plants have survived this long chilly period.

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