I've got one of those Braun rechargeable toothbrushes that stutters a bit after 2 minutes to let you know that you've been brushing for 2 minutes and if you don't stop, you'll be through the enamel and about to clean the raw nerves. Never a good thing although a clean nerve is probably a good nerve.
A week or so ago that feature stopped working and being so used to it, I suddenly realised it was lunchtime and I was still cleaning my teeth. Then a few days ago when I removed the toothbrush from the charging unit, it wouldn't work at all. No amount of threats or cajolling worked and it remained resolutely dead. An ex toothbrush. Kicked the bucket. Bereft of life. Joined the bleedin' choir invisible !
I knew that rechargeable gadgets have a life and on the Braun site it said that my toothbrush would only last for 3-5 years and then be as useful as an ex parrot. And mine was.
Like I said, that was a few days ago and every so often since then, I'd give it another good talking to and numerous violent, if not very techologically reasonable, shakes. Like the careers of Cannon & Ball, it remained dead.
So this afternoon I decided to buy another toothbrush and looked for the best deal online. As they gave a good price with free shipping, I duly gave my credit card details to Amazon and probably several hackers in Kenya.
At this point Daphne came in for a cup of tea and a chat after tending to my garden and as I still had the toothbrush in my hand, I told her the sad story. Wanting to show her just what a dead rechargeable toothbrush was like so that she could add it to her list of life experiences, I pressed the on button for the 200th time in the last few days. Nothing happened.
Well what did you expect, dear reader ? Nope, it didn't burst into life. Nothing so obvious.
As I was talking and therefore, being a man, unable to do two things at once, I didn't turn it off. A few seconds later, the damn thing did burst into life and there I stood, open mouthed, with this vibrating thing in my hand. Oh behave !!
Yes it spluttered at first. In fact it ran slowly for about 3 seconds and stopped, started up again and stopped and basically took about 30 seconds of this starting and stopping before it finally came up to full speed and stayed going.
"You bastard", I shouted, somewhat unreasonably. "Why couldn't you have done this 5 minutes ago before I bought a new one ?????"
I think it's been in cahoots with my possessed doorbell as remember it was coming out with "testing, testing 1-2-3". There is some sort of demonic bluetoothing going on here, I suspect. The machines are rising up, I tells ya.
I haven't cancelled the Amazon order as I still think the toothbrush, even rising from its deathbed as it has, is on its way out.
What's worrying me is what device the doorbell is going to mess with next. The tv ? The vacuum cleaner ? My mp3 player ?
I'm just glad my car's brakes aren't electronic !