I realise that's a bit far fetched and not strictly true, not true at all really, but it makes for a good start to this post. I mean I've never let the lack of absolute truth stop me in the past !
So what am I babbling on about this time ?
Well we popped into our local supermarket, Sweetbay, yesterday evening on the way back from town. It has an "International Aisle" featuring grocery products from the far corners of the globe (just to keep my flat earth readers happy) although it seems that for Sweetbay, these far flung corners are made up of Britain, Mexico and a general area just to the right of Britain known as 'Asian' made up of just just China and Japan. I'll be emailing both countries to let them know they're in danger of losing their separate identities thanks to Sweetbay Head Office.
So as usual I glanced wide eyed at the British section with products like Spotted Dick, Birds Custard, Robinsons Lemon Barley Water and Tetley Tea Bags. The wide eyes were down to the prices being charged for these imports, not for the products themselves. It's no wonder they weren't shifting, although I did help move things about by buying tins of Spotted Dick and Birds Custard at Christmas. Never let it be said that I don't support British Exports.
Anyway as we weren't doing 'a big shop' yesterday, I had more time than usual to look at the rest of the products. The usual suspects like HP Sauce and McVities Biscuits were there, rubbing unhealthy shoulders with Cadburys Fruit 'n Nut and Lion bars. Lion Bars ? Where were the Bounty Bars and Milky Ways ?
Well they have those here of course, or at least something similar.
But where were the bottles of Dandelion & Burdock ? And don't get me started on the lack of Jaffa Cakes !!!! If those had been there you'd have heard the cries of "clean up on aisle 16" over the PA system as I'd have been creating panic with my drool slick.
Then, almost hiding from sight behind a row of pickled silverskin onions, I saw something that made me realise Britain may be sending out mixed signals when it comes to our national culinary identity.
Jar after jar of various curry sauces from Madras to Vindaloo !!
I read some years ago that curry had overtaken fish & chips as THE official British dish but I sort of hoped that news hadn't spread beyond Beachy Head. I mean it's like saying some members of our Royal Family aren't 100% British and might have some traces of 'Johnny Foreigner' blood coursing through their veins. It's just not right.
I think I need to email Sweetbay HQ and get their buyers to put a few packets of Harry Ramsdan's Flaky Fish Batter Mix on the shelves just to redress the balance.
Cause you can't beat a good plate of lightly battered fish and chips with a side order of mushy peas after a good night out.....at the bingo.
Oh and with a little white tub of curry sauce too. Wouldn't be British otherwise !