Sunday, July 13, 2008

What A Gay Day !

I read a BBC news report this morning about a Sicilian court ordering the Italian government to pay one of it's citizens 100,000 Euros compensation, or £3.67, because he had to retake his driving test when the authorities discovered he was gay.

It seems the 26 yr old had told doctors he was homosexual during a medical exam for military service. This information was passed to the defence and transport ministries and Mr. Guiffrida, for that was he, was told he would need to retake his driving test or he would have his licence suspended because of his 'sexual identity disturbance'.

Even that wasn't the end of it as when he DID retake his test and passed it, he was only given a one year licence rather than the normal 10 year one, due to his homosexuality.

Now in this day and age, several things about this story are frankly hard to believe and the main one has to be :

Has the Euro/Sterling exchange rate really sunk so low ? Frightening.

Then there is the bizarre fact that this story has come out of Italy, a country where waving your hands about, speaking fast in high pitched voices, wearing lots of leather and other stereotypical gay mannerisms are part of the culture. Just go to a Milan v Roma game and have a look at the crowd !!

And military service ? Italian military service ? Wouldn't waving your hands about, assuming they are over your head, be almost compulsary for a life in the Italian military ?

Of course, to be serious for a moment, all sensible, educated people would agree that Mr. Guiffrida should never be allowed to drive a car at all. I mean, a gay man behind the wheel of a car ? Come on. It's just unnatural. It's immoral. And I'm sure it's not mentioned anywhere in the bible and so it has to be wrong.

Actually we DO read about St.Paul being 'on the road' to Damascus and having a blinding vision that changed his life completely. Who is to say he didn't get passed by a gay driver and the shock of it all was what he later wrote about ? A sort of biblical blog post rather like this one ?

Makes you think.

I mean there are young impressionable people out there who might be swayed by seeing a gay driver. Where will it all end ? What will be next ? Women drivers ? Surely not !

Naturally the two words dreaded by all good people in authority everywhere have come to the fore once again - civil liberty. Mr. Guiffrida had his civil liberties mucked about with and so he deserved lots of dosh to help him overcome the pain and suffering that ensued.

But what about the civil liberties of other road users ? I mean innocent, perfectly healthy, perfectly normal, heterosexual drivers and their families could be stuck in a line of traffic in Turin and never realise that the driver right behind them was gay. It's a shocking idea. Surely there is no room for this abhoration in a modern civilised society ?

These people need to wise up and just stop being gay. If you want a 10 year licence, pack in this gay nonsence. It's just a silly fad anyway. Snap out of it.

No, take gays off our roads, I say. Take away their car keys and let them walk. With sandwich boards proclaiming their identity disturbances.

Just don't take a leaflet off them. Homosexuality might be contagious.


Daphne said...

A deeply offensive post, because you don't mention gay women drivers anywhere at all. Don't they have as much right to be offended by your writing as everyone else?

Silverback said...

Gay women drivers ! No, no, no. Not even in California !

That's some sort of science fiction Frankenstein nightmare isn't it ?

A 1 week licence for them !

Oliver A. FP said...

Note that I have *proved* that LGBT people shouldn't drive cars...

And Gareth's a giant bisexualist whose car looks like it's already been cubed.

You may have something here.

Jay said...

ROFL! OK, it's past midnight here and I'm so tired I'm seeing double so I'm just not capable of a witty comment. I'll no doubt think of one in the morning.

Meanwhile - I once had a friend called Gay. I wonder what the Italians would do about her?

Laura Willows said...

I'm with Jay, I can't quite think of a witty comment other than: WHAT? Surely you just made all of that up, Silverback??

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