A Heartfelt Anniversary

Today, 3 years ago, I had a heart attack.

I'd had one before so I wasn't quite as excited about this one.

That 1st one had been 12 years earlier and I'll be happy enough if the same time period passes before the next one. Obviously I'd be even happier if I didn't have a 3rd, but what can you do ?

Initially I was more upset than anything else. I was due to leave for 6 months in America only a few days later and that had to be postponed. It also meant I'd missed a wedding over there and that WASN'T postponed. I'd have thought that being a friend of a friend of the ex boyfriend of the bridesmaid's sister would've given me a bit more status.

I mean how hard would it have been to have simply waited 3 months for me to get there ? Selfish lot.

Surviving a heart attack can make you take stock of your life. Surviving two ? Well it CAN make you want take up sky diving or base jumping as you start to think you are living a charmed life. But for me, things went along pretty much as usual.

I'm a worrier by nature and so, for a while, every little twinge and pain anywhere near my heart made me think I was on the way out. Hell, even a pain in my big toe made me think that. It's one of those 'toe bone connected to your....heart bone' sort of things.

I think I felt less worried after the 1st one as something had actually been done about it at the time. I'd had a quintuple bypass and felt like a kid again in many ways. The old body had gone into the garage, had the fuel lines replaced and I was good for another 100,000 miles or 12 years - whichever came sooner.

As it turned out, it was the 12 years.

Yes the attack scared me and made me feel very vulnerable and alone at the time. I wasn't covered privately anymore and was in an awful ward in a big impersonal NHS hospital which only increased my feelings that I'd not get over this one. Once again I was the youngest person there but being in a ward was a nightmare compared to the private room with all mod cons that I'd had first time round. Being 'happy' in hospital is such a boost to the recovery process and I firmly believe that if I'd not 'gone private' in 1993, I'd not be here now.

But after the 2nd attack, no surgery was done. They just altered my medication. The much older body had gone back into the garage but they'd just given me some engine flush and cleaned my hub caps.

At first I wasn't too happy but when I learned of the dangers of having my chest opened up again, then I took the pills and ran. Well I walked quite slowly out of the hospital actually.

Anyway that's all in the past and hopefully I'll have many more anniversaries to celebrate on July 20th.

Yes that's the ticket. I'm positive. I'm optimistic. I'm starving.

I'm off to have fish and chips with a curry chaser. I'll pop another pill and have them supersized.