Thursday, August 13, 2009

Taking Care Of Business

Here in the UK, people are still allowed to come to our homes to get us to buy into some service or other that they just happen to offer. I like this as much as a root canal and if I see them coming, I simply ignore them and they go away. Sometimes they shove a business card or a flyer through my letterbox but as most of them wouldn't know how to spell the word 'business' and certainly don't want unfortunate customers/suckers getting in touch with them afterwards, they just leave.

I was doing the dishes this morning when one such individual knocked on my neighbour's door and I glanced through the frosted glass of my kitchen door to see a blob of orange moving around the driveway.

Drying my hands, I went to my front porch to get a better look and saw it was someone wearing one of those reflective motorway type jackets and as I removed a letter from my letterbox (yes they're STILL not pushing them all the way through so don't get me started on that), orange man picked up the noise like a vulture sensing a meal and came to my door. Damn.

Now at this point I need to say that when I first get up in the morning, I need to take a while to get my brain in gear and so I often wander around in my boxers until I know if I'm going for an exercise walk, going shopping or just going to stay indoors for a while. Different pants for different activities you see.

So there I was at my front door with the net curtain to one side, not really wanting to engage in conversation with anyone, given my state of undress. I immediately noticed this character had a badge on his jacket that said something like Beechcraft Tree Services and this rang a bell with me that I'd had this 'company' here before offering their services to cut my trees or trim my hedge or some such thing.

My one rule is very simple : I will NEVER hire anyone who comes to my house offering a service.


So I said no thank you before he'd even opened his mouth.

"Why not ?" he asked.

"I've already got your details if I want to call you" I said as I really thought I did. Have his card or flyer I mean.

"How did you get it ?" he asked

By now I wanted away so just let the net curtain drop and said "Through the letterbox I suppose. I donno."

As I walked back into my living room I heard him shout "LIAR" at me.

So I guess he wasn't the type to pop details through the letterbox then !! Quelle surpise.

I hadn't seen any vehicle outside and this was because it was parked round the corner. A minute or so later it slowly went past my house and even though my new friend couldn't possibly see me inside my house (God bless net curtains) it didn't stop him from shouting out in a cheerful voice........


Now given that I was wearing boxers, it may have been that he was warning me that I was showing more of myself to the world than I'd ever want to show but somehow I think he was just a pissed off........well if I could do graphics as well as they did a while ago on Top Gear, I'd now be showing a little photo of a pie and a little photo of a key with a plus sign in between them.

Obviously I can't tell you what his tree/hedge trimming skills are like but I think he made it very obvious that those charm school lessons were a total waste of time.


Milo said...

Ugh door to door sellers must be the pits. I live in a gated apartment building so they can't usually get in.

That said, I hate telemarketers calling me at home, like British Gas who seem to call EVERY weekday I ever happy to be at home (rare anyway) but they always call. Pisses me off every time. And it always seems to be British *******g Gas asking me to take out a household appliance policy with them so that if my £4.99 toaster fails I'll be entitled to a new one. They must think we were all born yesterday.

Daphne said...

I think this man's reaction to you was a reliable demonstration that you had made entirely the right decision in not inviting him in, making him lunch and asking him to name his price for cutting your hedge. I'll never employ anyone who comes to the door either - - except for our excellent Polish windowcleaners, because nobody had offered to clean the very high windows in our house for about five years before they turned up and did an excellent job, returning six weeks later to do it again. But they, of course, are the exception that proves the rule!

jay said...

Hahahaha! Would that be a rabbit pie, by any chance? LOL!

No, they don't do charm school, do they?

Debby said...


Yorkshire Pudding said...

I just hate people coming to my door or phoning up touting for business. One charity I have always supported is Oxfam. I have been on sponsored walks for them, my daughter worked in one of their shops - even at my mother's funeral the collection was for Oxfam. On Saturday, there was an Oxfam girl standing at my door rabbiting on before almost demanding that I sign up to pay £2 a week to Oxfam. When I said no she challenged - "Why not?". I said "because I don't want to" but even from Oxfam why should I have to be defending myself on my own doorstep? I wish they'd make all such intrusions illegal.

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