Thursday, September 04, 2008

There Be Sick People Here.........................

Thanks to the invention of the V-box (a gizmo like a US TiVo) and downloading tv shows and movies from the internet, I manage to pretty much miss out on adverts. Even when watching live tv, I usually still zone them out by a process of Zen self hypnosis and humming popular Tibetan chants. Mind you, I've not quite mastered the art of coming out of this state in time to catch the restart of the show........but of course that's where the V-box again comes to my aid.

So having said that, it takes a lot for an advert to grab my attention, here is one that recently managed to do just that. It grabbed me even though I wasn't looking at the tv at the time and why ? Well because of the annoying little bastard making all the noise. It went right through me and I just HAD to see what was going on and why it was on my tv set.

I've seen it a few times since then and until yesterday I wasn't quite fed up with it. I felt like a couple more viewings and maybe it'd make the smooth transition to being a really annoying advert that pisses me off as the noise being made by the kid would finally overcome the joy of the guy putting him to sleep. But not yet.

Then yesterday afternoon I gave a friend of mine a lift to see her doctor. While she was in the office, I sat reading a magazine in the waiting room. In came a woman with her little boy who went straight for the box of toys in the corner. Within seconds, every toy was on the floor and he was in his element. Bless.

But things soon changed. He'd tried to put two huge lego type blocks together and they didn't fit. He wasn't going to give up and picked up a hard plastic hammer and started smacking the top block with all the force he could muster and suddenly I was in the nightmare world of Kwik-Fit. Except these blocks weren't fitting quickly or any other way.

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

Mommy dearest was really into HER magazine and seemingly oblivious to these blows. I looked at the receptionist for some sort of help. Her head was down and she might as well have been wearing headphones for all the use she was. If I'd had the Kwit-Fit number on speed dial I'd have been calling in the troops.

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

Inside my head a voice was screaming "why in Gods name would anyone put a hammer, albeit it a plastic one, into a toy box in a doctors waiting room ?" Holy crap, people are there because they are sick and not because they are waiting for a number 93 to Roundhay Park. Thankfully I wasn't in need of medical attention but that kid was in serious danger of needing that hammer surgically removed from deep within his preteen butt cheeks.

Thankfully my friend came out just before I could make a move and that kid will never know how close he came to becoming a tripod.

I'm keeping a supply of bubble wrap next to my chair because the next time that advert comes onto my tv, I'm going to throw SOMETHING and it better not be solid.

When Mr. Kwik-Fit puts that kid to sleep next time, it better be permanent.


Daphne said...

I never understand why some parents take their children to somewhere they know they're going to have to wait - and don't take anything for the child to do! Since when were three-year-olds good at sitting still and silent? And why should they be?

Daphne said...

Ooops - and I meant to add - something interesting for the child - but QUIET for everyone else! Like reading them a story in a soft voice. Lots of noise in a doctor's waiting room is totally unfair on ill people!

Anonymous said...

Ian Loved the post and the Tripod

Debby said...

I was hoping the guy would punch him and not put him to sleep! Think perhaps I've lost my patience with badly behaving children?

CLS said...

Uh Oh - - hey Ian - we'd better behave and knock off the 'childishness when we're on the golf course - SHE SOUNDS CRANKY!!!

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