Monday, September 22, 2008

I Expect To Be Arrested Any Time Now.

I thought that title might get your attention.

I've often wondered what I'd do if I was asked to prove my whereabouts on a particular date and time in relation to a crime.  My memory is so bad that I'm quite happy if I can work out what I've left the house to do, never mind remember what I've done in the past.  Like 20 minute ago !!

I think I'd be relying on friends to come to my aid with an alibi if the rozzers ever came to my door with their truncheons slapping in their hands. 

And no, that's not a some sort of sexual inneundo for you 'Carry On' fans out there. Perverts.

Anyway this potential inability to keep myself out of a police lineup was highlighted today when I read an article in our local paper, the Yorkshire Evening Post.  

It recounted the awful story of a Leeds driver being dragged from his car by 2 masked men at about 10pm last night (Sunday).  He was basically mugged and left slightly injured by the attack but thankfully he didn't need hospital treatment.  I'd better point out at this point that the car was not in motion at the time but I have to admit that two masked men running along side a moving car attempting to get at the driver would be something worth seeing.

So what makes me think I might be 'in the frame' for this particular crime ?   See, all that cops and robbers tv watching has given me the parlance if nothing else.  

Well the article says that anyone who witnessed the crime or may be able to identify the offenders should contact their local police station.  Oh and what about the description of these offenders ?

Well to quote the article again, "both raiders are described as white men wearing dark clothing and balaclavas 

I think we could be looking at a Guinness World Record for the longest police lineup in history.

And while I think about it, last night at 10pm I was in my house with Fr. Murphy and 7 of the boys from the local choir looking for swimwear on the internet.

I guess I've absolutely nothing to worry about then !!


Jay said...

I'd say you were well and truly snookered, my friend. ROFL!

BAJ said...

Ummm... That newspaper description of the offenders/muggers fits me pretty well too. Except for the balaclava though, which I only wear on special occasions of course.

Debby said...

Ohhhhh you used the P word again. You silver tongued devil you!

I'll cover for you if the coppers come knocking. You left your balaclava here!

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