Monday, August 20, 2007

Animals And Sex - A Deadly Affair.

After almost 3 decades of working for a living, a few of the Mon-Fri type attitudes still remain with me, even after 6 years of retirement. I try not to drive into or out of Leeds city centre at rush hour(s) and when the weather forecast comes on after News At Ten, I still get the urge to go to bed. It's just a relic of an urge as I don't go to bed now till 2am or later.

That Monday Morning Feeling didn't take long to leave me.......about 2 weeks as I remember. So I got up this morning with pretty much the same feelings as I did yesterday - with a bursting bladder, a rumbling stomach and a childlike desire to see if the sun would be shining after a very long absence.

It's now exactly noon and my bladder is mostly empty, my stomach is busy processing the own brand Fruit n Fibre I shovelled into it and my childlike desire has been dashed by the heavy cloud front and almost Arctic temperatures sweeping down from the North Pole.

Global warming seems to have missed this part of Yorkshire. Bring it on, I say.

It's cold and damp and miserable and knowing it's mid August only makes it worse.

On days like this, when one could sink into a comfortable leather bound electric recliner chair, extend the foot rest and contemplate one's lot in life, I'm so glad to have t'internet to dive into as it rarely fails to show me that around the world, there are always people far worse off than myself.

Worse off people abound out there. People from Manchester for a start. Only joking.

And so when I was surfing through the news reports this morning, my attention was well and truly grabbed by the headline that said "Pet Camel Kills Australian Woman."

Now I know that someone being killed by anyone or anything is a tragedy for their family and friends - and doesn't do them much good either - but sometimes the HOW ? is a story that brings some much needed amusement into the shallow lives of others.

For starters, a pet camel ! That fact alone is enough to get me interested. Why would anyone have a camel as a pet ? But then the rest of the headline makes it all clear, Australian Woman. Nuff said.

Australian Men are world famous for being.....well.....Australian men. From their dubious personal habits to their troglodyte attitudes to just about everything, the male Australian is well known to us. The female of the species, not so much so.

But it's clear that they're not all that different as the story of this unfortunate woman illustrates.
As with most Australian stories, it includes an animal and sex. Yes, dear readers, at the same time.

Anyway, as I regard this as a family site, I'll not detail the events within the post, but any desire to 'look away' just has to be overcome to get the full jaw dropping force of the 'oh....my.....God' sensation as you read on.

I've not bought a newspaper for decades and in the days when I did, I was never one to get The Sun or The Daily Star, but I hold my hands up to taking a peek at them if they were left lying around - underneath the staffing rotas in an unlocked drawer at the bottom of the filing cabinet in the bosses office. Well, it was like shoving them in our faces !

As Page 3 frequently was.

I digress. I just mean that that for once I'd love to see what those tabloid rags would make of this story. Manna from heaven, a headline writers dream, and all that. The BBC were typically prudish in reporting it but I'm sure the journalists in the office were discussing somewhat differing headlines.

The Bible obviously knew a thing or two about it when it talked about shoving a camel somewhere it clearly couldn't go but it wasn't the 'eye of a needle' it needed to warn us about but the camel's 'roving eye' if you keep one as a pet. If nothing else it should bring home that most popular of phrases - keep your friends close, your enemies even closer and your camel lovers far far away.

Anyway for all those discerning souls who need a Monday lift and need to be reminded that there are ALWAYS others much worse off than themselves, let this story do both.

4 comments:

Daphne said...

And how many articles have you ever seen about camels making good pets? - - Precisely. Off to practise folding T-shirts now. As far as I can see, the drawback is that you need a flat surface and every flat surface in this house has something on it. Damn.

Jennyta said...

I've heard of this happening with pet kangaroos.

Silverback said...

Jennyta,

Oh a MUCH more sensible lover to have - lol.

With the large hind legs, much less chance of being crushed when it gets passionate after watching a late night movie. Puts new meaning into "Skippy Down Under".

Ian

Jennyta said...

Hmm, never thought of it quite like that, Ian!

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