Sunday, February 13, 2011

A Bird On The Roof Is Worth....No Lie In !!

I've been accused of bare faced cheek for that last blog post (thank you Daphne....very droll) and I hold my hands up. I should now have 24 hrs of stubble to show the world but like I said, I'm a bit slow in the hair growing stakes and as a result, my cheeks are still pretty much baby butt-like.

A very strange baby but nonetheless..........

Late last evening I decided to take a phone photo and it was only when I looked at the first result that I noticed a fair amount of blood on my polo shirt collar. When I'd jokingly mentioned on yesterday's blog that I'd cut myself a few times, I really thought I HAD been joking. I mean I'd had a shower afterwards and dried myself off with a white towel and there was, and still is, no blood on it. So just where this blood came from is a bit of a mystery. Maybe I have a self sealing carotid artery !

Ok so I know WHO it came from of course as I'm not in the habit of loaning my polo shirts out to passing haemophiliacs. I also know WHERE it came from as my polo shirt collars tend to exist close to my neck when being worn. What I'm not sure about is HOW it got there. There are no 'nicks' on my neck and all my little growths are still there.

And what's that all about anyway ? As I get older, I get more and more little skin bits trying to escape from my body. I need all my skin so I don't appreciate these deserting bits. Maybe I chopped one of them off yesterday, I bled, the shower washed it all away and voila, no evidence.

No that won't work. The polo shirt went on after the shower. Still a mystery.

Speaking of mysteries, one WAS solved yesterday. On the rare occasions when I've been awake around 7:30am, I've heard a woodpecker doing his thing nearby. As the extent of my woodpecker knowledge is based on Woody, the cartoon character, I wasn't entirely sure what one sounded like when it was head banging in real life but I was pretty sure it didn't sound like what I was hearing.

Being up and about at 7:30am yesterday for a UK footy match, I suddenly heard the woodpecker and slowly opened the front door. He wasn't hard to spot as the noise was quite loud and was coming from the roof of the house next door.

Yes the roof !

Woody was hammering away like a demented Black Sabbath fan on the metal roof and with his wings providing balance, was giving it plenty. After a few minutes of this (and this WAS the noise I'd been hearing when in bed), he flew a few feet to a nearby palm tree trunk and finding the right spot, began hammering again with his little red mohican a blur of motion.

Wanting to know why a woodpecker would peck on metal, I went to the source of all knowledge. The internet !

It seems that woodpeckers mate in early spring and so my pecker (behave !!) has been simply trying to attract a female. Given the noise he was creating in the still morning air, it was a very effective mating policy and much better than a singles night. This was more like speed dating ! Standing outside, I even heard a similar noise coming from a distant part of the park. Result ?

Selfishly I hope he finds a mate soon as I'm not keen on being woken at 7:30am but at least that mystery was solved.

Now back to the other one.........


Jay said...

Hahaha! Smart bird - he's using modern amplification techniques to send his message further!! Tough luck on you, though, huh?


'Maybe I have a self sealing carotid artery !'

That seems to me a particularly useful attribute to have - especially since you now live in the Land of the Serial Killer. ROFL!

Daphne said...

Never mind the woodpecker (and I'm not even mentioning it because I've found that any comment I try to make ends up very smutty. No idea why). But if you find any more blood round your neck in the morning I think you should consider the possibility of a visit from the rare Floridian Vampire. Worrying.

Jennyta said...

Not keen at being woken at 7.30 in the morning?? That's the middle of the day, man!

rhymeswithplague said...

A woodpecker is a lovely long as you have earplugs.

Most Recent Awards

Most Recent Awards