Friday, September 24, 2010

Dark Thoughts.

As regular readers will know, I spend half the year in Florida, half in England and the other half wondering how I flunked math(s) at school.

It's a little known fact that Florida gets better weather than England, at least my part of England, 'oop north' as they say. We've had a relatively dry summer this year but not a sunny, warm one and any tan I got in Florida over the winter, has all but faded now.

This is a good thing. You see I'm not a sunbather and so any tan I get over the winter tends to come from just daily living there. As t-shirt and shorts are the order of the day, my face, arms and legs return to England looking like they've been in the tropics while the rest of my body looks like it's spent the winter down a mineshaft in Chile. As a result, I couldn't possibly reveal my torso here even on those rare summer days when the temperatures make it an option.

Then again, being about 30 lbs overweight is another good reason !

So as I see it, I have two options to overcoming this two tone problem over this coming winter.

The first option is to 'fully' expose my now uniformly pale Brit body to the Florida sun at every opportunity. Worry not, Floridians, as when I say 'fully', I've no intention of becoming a part time naturalist. For one thing, those 30 extra lbs rule that idea out. This also won't be a great sacrifice as I want to do much more walking and swimming this winter, two activities where it's acceptable to go topless......for men anyway.

The other option has several obvious drawbacks and might make me stand out even more than I would if I wandered around flashing my man boobs to the world.

And anyway, where could I get a burqa in blue ?


Jennyta said...

Where indedd, Ian. Go for it, man, strip off and give the ladies a treat! ;)

rhymeswithplague said...

Just remember to keep an ample supply of sunscreen on hand and a few aloe plants around the house.

Debby said...

I've got 3 aloe plants I was going to get rid of and plant herbs in those pots. I'll keep one.

I'm so happy you want to get out more. Maybe a few slower walks and slower bike rides and I can tag along.

Ruth said...

I wonder how many naturist naturalists there are in Sebring - you could start a new bird watching two-tone trend. When do you fly off to your sunny winter haunt?

Milo said...

Walking and biking in that lovely Florida weather sound just the ticket. With such crappy weather in the UK for much of the year, it's hard to do those things. And yeh, even down south the summer was so-so. It started quite good but went downhill from July I seem to recall.

rhymeswithplague said...

When do you leave for Florida? And will you ever blog again?

Most Recent Awards

Most Recent Awards