I like cycling.
I really like cycling here in Buttonwood Bay as the weather is lovely and hot and the roads within the park are (mostly) as flat as the proverbial pancake and smooth as a baby's butt.
I quite like the bike I have here. It was a pressie about 4 years ago and it's one of those ones where the frame under the seat is not attached to anything......if that makes sense. The suspension is awesome and I could ride over several collapsed residents before I'd notice even the slightest bump. I may well have done so in the past - who knows.
So I like my bike. I like it a lot. But that's it. Ok I may have said to someone at some time that I love it. I probably said it when it was given to me - as you do with a pressie.
"Oh I just love it" I may have said to show how much I........well how much I appreciated getting it as a pressie. Like you do. It didn't mean anything. You know how it is.
Robert Stewart has a bike. He lives in Scotland. Not that that's pertinent. I don't think.
Robert loves his bike. A lot. Really REALLY loves his bike.
But here the story goes off down some weird perverted path that only a Scot and his bike can take. I'll let the BBC article take it from here but it raises ....sorry.....a few questions in my mind ranging from bolting doors to being deaf.
But putting aside the NUMEROUS questions of what sexual gratification you could possibly get from a stationary bike (the real thing as opposed to the label given to a lady of easy virtue), then what puzzles me is what law did he break - or more to the point, why was he charged with it ?
Can't you do pretty much whatever you want, sex wise, in a hotel or hostel room as long as it doesn't hurt anyone ? Ok so his partner of choice was a bike. Stop tittering. Would he have been arrested if the cleaners had burst in to find him on top of something he'd had to inflate ?
Like a bike tube ? No stop it. Forget the bike thing for a minute.
I just don't see a crime here. I see someone who might need therapy and a few sticking plasters.
I certainly don't see someone who needs to be on the Sex Offenders List for 3 years !
Maybe a Halfords Offenders List but even that would be a bit harsh.
No, I don't think the punishment fits the 'crime' in this case. It's still funny though. Good for a laugh in the pub or over a meal. Thanks Robert.
Norman Tebbit would be proud that you remembered his infamous, but misquoted, words from 1981. Thing is, I don't think he meant them to be taken SO literally.