God was bored today. I know this for a fact because God messed with me.
I try to go for a walk every day.........my cardiologist says it's good for the old ticker and who am I to argue ? He has more thingies after his name than I do. More money in his bank account too - a LOT of mine for a start.
Anyway, finding dry weather for a walk has been difficult recently as it's been a bit moist, shall we say. At about 2:30pm today however, it was lovely. There were a few fluffy white clouds but plenty of blue. "A bit of blue, a bit of blue for the dads" as Peter Kay would say.
So I set off and in some mad rush of blood to my balding head, I set off sans cap and sans brolly. The sun had obviously affected me before I was out the door.
Everything was perfect and as I lengthened my stride and overtook even the fastest of God's legless creatures, me and Robbie Williams (via my mp3) were getting more fresh air and fun than young Albert could have ever imagined.
About 30 minutes and naturally when I was at the furthest point from my house, it became noticeably darker. Then it started to rain and I really wished I'd taken either my cap or my brolly......preferably both. I'd reached The Dexter on Wigton Lane and was tempted to pop in until the rain stopped but I was on a schedule and it wasn't raining that much anyway.
Then it stopped........hurrah.
Then it started again and with big heavy blobs too. The type that, if they miss you on the way down, splat on the ground and somehow manage to get you on the way up again.
By now I was on Shadwell Lane at the point where the lovely foot and bike path that runs alongside the road has a canopy of branches to protect me from the worst of the rain. After a while the path opened out and afforded no protection from the elements at all. It got darker still and to my amazement it started to hail !
It was mid May, it was in the high 50's in the shade, I was sweating with effort (well I never claimed I was fit) and tiny hailstones were all over the ground like unsupervised kids on a bouncy castle. This lasted for about 15 seconds and then just stopped as if the celestial hailstone bucket had run out.
I walked on. I wasn't particularly wet and preferred the hailstones to the rain, if truth be told.
By the time I got to 'my' estate, the fluffy white clouds were back and the rest of the sky was blue again. The roads were totally dry and it was clear that near my house, there had been no hail, no rain and most likely not even a dark cloud.
I'm convinced I'd been in a real life cartoon scenario where a freak dark hailstone filled cloud had stalked me and when at my furthest point from cover, had shed it's load.
Yes God had been bored from 2:30 to 3:30 today. I'm sure it's happened a lot over the centuries. Ever since Roman times I suspect.
Thanks a lot, ma'am.