Monday, August 07, 2006

What A Summer That Was !

Well it was great while it lasted and helped to take all our minds of the dismal England performances in the World Cup, Wimbledon (tennis) and the cricket series against Sri Lanka. What am I talking about ? Why the summer of course.

You see it ended today......or maybe it's tomorrow. Course we could have more hot sunny days in August but we can't expect the forecasters to tell us that. THEY say is over. But what do they know ? Well, they know as much as we do. They spend millions on new super fast number crunching computers and feed in global weather statistics and climate patterns and what comes out the other end ? Lovely maps and hi-tech graphics presented via blue screen backdrops by blonde ex bimbos who have a degree in meteorology from a correspondance college in Salt Lake City.

Are these wonderful forecasts accurate ? Are they heck as like !! If they say rain in Scotland, you'd better slap on the factor 16. Bone dry in the South West, invest in flippers and a snorkel. Calm in London, don't dare open your umbrella.

They've having a laugh. I mean no one is saying that weather forecasting is an easy task. Way too many variables. Too many people killing butterflies in Asia for one thing. Don't they know the effrect this has on the British weather for goodness sake ??? So yes, it's a thankless, hopeless task and quite frankly, I can't ever see it getting better till we all live under huge dio-domes with a switch near the door to control the atmosphere. A dimmer switch I think. Yes, definitely a case for a dimmer switch. Oh and can the last person to leave, please make it night time ?

So please don't spend any more money on weather forecasting. By all means give us a few minutes of it every day as by the law of averages, it'll be right sometimes. But don't stand there in front on your blue screen and look like you're telling us what's going to happen today, tomorrow and for the next few days. We can look at the sky and work it out for ourselves, thank you very much.

Nevertheless, despite the forecasters, we've had a glorious period of summer with cracking temps and enough sunshine blasting down through the remains of the ozone layer to toast our flabby bared bellies and guarantee a generation of skin cancer victims in 30 years time. All Winter and Spring we've prayed for a summer like this and a few days after it arrives. we're all moaning and groaning that it's way too hot and miserable and want it to end ! Who'd be God ? There's another thankless job for you.

As I mentioned in the previous post, I leave for America on Tuesday. If the weather does really break here tomorrow or Sunday, I could care less. I'll be busy packing. Next Tuesday it's to be 91F where I'm going and a few months of that will suit me just fine. Then I'll be in Florida for 3 months and we all know how that goes weather wise. Of course weather forecasts in the US aren't that much different than here but I kinda like their use of doppler radar graphics. I'm a sucker for technology and even if they get the forecast wrong, I still feel that I've been richly entertained for a few minutes. The point is, over there they don't have to know much about forecasting as it's relatively simple. If it's May-October, it's gonna be bloody hot. The evening forecast goes something like this : " Hi there, it's Wednesday, it's July, it's gonna be hot. News at 11 ".

So for me, summer will go on till February and you won't hear me moaning about THAT. In fact, from Tuesday onwards, when I hear the expression "have a nice day", I'll actually be tempted to smile and reply to it without my usual sarcasm.

Time to go press my swimming shorts..........................

No comments:

Most Recent Awards

Most Recent Awards