Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Food That Doesn't Travel Well.

I try. I really do. But every so often my Victor Meldrew persona takes over and I just have to have a bit of a rant about things I've read about or experienced.

I almost posted yesterday when I read about the tv watchdog, Ofcom, getting involved because 7 ITV viewers complained about Martin Brundle using the word 'pikey' when talking with the F1 chief, Bernie Ecclestone last Sunday just before the start of the Grand Prix.

The Canadian track had broken up in places and some quick repair work was being done before the race and so Brundle said to Ecclestone "there are some pikeys there at turn 10 putting tarmac down - what do you think of that ?" And 7 people complained !

Having had Irish Travelers come to my house a few times over the years, I think the idea of them doing a rush (probably botched) job on the race track was hilarious and very quick witted of Mr. Brundle.

Now Ofcom are going to 'look at the interview' and see if there had been a potential breach of its broadcasting code. If so, a formal investigation would begin.

Violence, sex and 'bad' language are all over the place on tv and some people object to the word 'pikey'. Even worse, these 7 individuals weren't simply told their complaints had been noted and that they should go back to their basket weaving or macrame or whatever. Oh no. The full weight of Ofcom has swung into action with possible fines on the horizon.

When is this PC business going to stop ? More and more words are being added to the Voldemort list, as I call it. And now it's 'pikey'. A UK word like trailer trash in a way. Hardly offensive and even if it was, think about who we are talking about here. Gypsies. Yeah they've really earned our respect over the years ! Personally I'd call those lazy, shifty, lying, robbing, deceitful, scum just about anything BUT pikeys. That word has a sort of romantic scallywag connotation to it that they don't deserve.

Anyway I'm glad I didn't have a rant about that !!

This lunchtime I went to my favourite local pub with Daphne to have a spot of....well, lunch. The Wellington on Wetherby Road has been given several mentions on this blog from time to time and today the carvery food was of the usual good quality and at £3.50, excellent value for money.

I'm not sure if the guy carving the meats today thought I needed filling up but he loaded up my plate with enough ham and turkey to feed an American. I ate my fill and was left with a large hunk of ham and a decent amount of turkey on my plate. I was going to wrap this food in a couple of napkins and have it for my supper but as a nearby table was being cleared by a member of staff. I asked if there was any sort of container she could get me instead.

She politely told me that I wasn't allowed to take food from the pub. It seems the pub owners do not want people to take food home, leave it on the worktop and eat it 3 weeks later, go down with food poisoning and then sue the pub. What ? To quote Mr. McEnroe, "you cannot be serious" ???

"I promise I'll eat the meat really soon, tonight probably, and even if I get an upset tum, I swear I won't be back to sue you"

"Sorry but you can't leave the pub with that meat."

"But it's such a waste and it's a huge amount of meat and you'll just throw it away."

"Sorry but you can't leave the pub with that meat."

"Well what if I wait till you're away in the back or in the kitchen and I just sneak out with it ?"

"Sorry but you can't leave the pub with that meat."

She said something about her losing her job so even if she didn't actually see this crime being committed, the meat sensors all around the pub door frame would obviously set off a deafening siren and the pub would be illuminated with red and blue flashing strobe lights.

Have we gone mad ? Ironically in the land of litigation, America, a take out container practically comes with your meal. It's almost expected and compulsory. Few people can eat the portions you get over there and until they learn that the idea of "less food for less cost" would be a great idea all around, then it makes a lot of sense to be able to take home the remains of the meal you've actually paid for.

In the end she went off to talk to her manager and came back some time later with some tin foil and a disclaimer form. I kid you not. A disclaimer form.

I can't remember the heading on the form but it was along the lines of "Customer Taking Food Off The Premises Despite Us Telling Him We Don't Allow It."

She wrote her name and the time and I signed it, wrote my name in capitals and dated it. I've entered less information to get a bank loan.

The girl told us that in 3 weeks time, every establishment would have this 'law' so unless you knew this already, you've been warned. Eat up your food as you sure can't take any away with you.

So I wrapped my VIM (Very Important Meat - wish it had been Pork but it was ham and turkey) in the foil and left the pub with my head, and my meat, held high.

Not long after I got home, the pub owner rang me to ask if I was ok ? I said I hadn't eaten the meat yet so I was fine. He said that after we'd left, 7 people had complained that I'd been allowed to leave with food when it was clearly a very dangerous thing to do. He added that when he'd asked for their names and addresses, they'd given a caravan site on some greenbelt land nearby.

Pikey bastards.

4 comments:

Jennyta said...

And where was Daphne when all this was going on? Under the table cringing with embarassment? Seriously though, just when you think things can't get any more ridiculous... And it was yours anyway, you'd paid for it!

Silverback said...

Daphne had scoffed her meal in 5 minutes flat and was at the bar sinking pints like a camel that hadn't had a drink in a really really long time.

Hope you didn't miss the start of Emmerdale there, Jenny ! Nay, nay.

Daphne said...

- - and talking of litigation, I believe there are libel laws in this Land, Mr Silverback!
Actually, Jennyta, I greatly enjoyed it - marvelling as it all happened. "She can't REALLY be going to bring a disclaimer form, can she? - - Oh yes, she is!"

Debby said...

We got that in N. Ireland also if you recall. I just said 'oh OK' and shoved said meat in my backpack after the waitress left.

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