I may have a compact camera now but I've still got British reserve and so I didn't manage to point the camera at some of the people who make going there such a shopping experience. I'd be an embarassment to the paparazzi union if I was in one but I feel I've retained my sensitivity to the human race in all it's shapes and forms. Hopefully I'll get over that and post some 'good' people photos another time. In the meantime, these will have to do.
First up here is a shot of a popular aisle in the store for obvious reasons. I think just about every brand of sun product is here from ones with no SPF at all (known in the industry as cooking oil) to ones that block out the sun more effectively than the shadow of an obese American.
If instead of taking out the sun, you'd rather take out your wife's lover or the local bank manager, then this is the part of the store for you.
I had to take this photo while hiding from the assistant as I'd already asked for permission and had it denied. I guess taking a shot of a rack of guns is frowned upon whereas taking a shot at a static deer WITH a gun is fine.
First up here is a shot of a popular aisle in the store for obvious reasons. I think just about every brand of sun product is here from ones with no SPF at all (known in the industry as cooking oil) to ones that block out the sun more effectively than the shadow of an obese American.
If instead of taking out the sun, you'd rather take out your wife's lover or the local bank manager, then this is the part of the store for you.
I had to take this photo while hiding from the assistant as I'd already asked for permission and had it denied. I guess taking a shot of a rack of guns is frowned upon whereas taking a shot at a static deer WITH a gun is fine.
And what about that overhanging warning sign ? I think it's asking a lot to expect a Wal-Mart employee to know if someone is of 'unsound mind' when they're not exactly coming from a position of strength in that department themselves.
If you look closely at the boxes on the right, I'm not sure what the product inside might be. The man appears to be ready for some sort of action and he's helping his wife (obviously) with those tricky bra clasps while she seems to be happy just sitting on his stayball. All very dodgy.
Moving on to a less controversial section, namely menswear, I came upon various racks full of t-shirts for St. Patrick's Day. I'm not sure that the Irish Tourist Board would be pleased to see that the feast day of its premier saint is closely linked with getting blathered but seeing as they themselves will most likely be blathered on the big day, I guess they only have themselves to blame.
I remember a movie, sorry, a filim, many years ago with a jaunty tune in it called "You Don't Have To Be Irish To Be Irish" which was being sung by the good townsfolk as they paraded down the main street on Paddy's Day in Dublin or somewhere. It seems the owners of the Snoopy franchise have taken this to heart in a big way......
I'm sure that, as usual, Woodstock was an unwilling participant in this travesty of haute couture and I blame Snoopy for leading him astray. now I've been known to be pretty daring when chosing my underwear but I draw the line at having Snoopy anywhere near my privates on St. Patrick's Day or any other day come to that. Maybe if I was blathered !
By now I was desperate to find some product with a name that would be funny or rude (preferably both) to a UK reader but I didn't find one that day. I'm sure there had to be some but I just didn't see any. It'll be my quest next time. I did find a dog food called "Meaty Bone"and a baby product called "Butt Paste" but even Sid James would've been hard pressed to get a laugh with those items. Missus.
Moving on to a less controversial section, namely menswear, I came upon various racks full of t-shirts for St. Patrick's Day. I'm not sure that the Irish Tourist Board would be pleased to see that the feast day of its premier saint is closely linked with getting blathered but seeing as they themselves will most likely be blathered on the big day, I guess they only have themselves to blame.
I remember a movie, sorry, a filim, many years ago with a jaunty tune in it called "You Don't Have To Be Irish To Be Irish" which was being sung by the good townsfolk as they paraded down the main street on Paddy's Day in Dublin or somewhere. It seems the owners of the Snoopy franchise have taken this to heart in a big way......
I'm sure that, as usual, Woodstock was an unwilling participant in this travesty of haute couture and I blame Snoopy for leading him astray. now I've been known to be pretty daring when chosing my underwear but I draw the line at having Snoopy anywhere near my privates on St. Patrick's Day or any other day come to that. Maybe if I was blathered !
By now I was desperate to find some product with a name that would be funny or rude (preferably both) to a UK reader but I didn't find one that day. I'm sure there had to be some but I just didn't see any. It'll be my quest next time. I did find a dog food called "Meaty Bone"and a baby product called "Butt Paste" but even Sid James would've been hard pressed to get a laugh with those items. Missus.
On the other hand, if a friend ever asks you to go to Wal-Mart and get naked for $2.84, you'd better have a look at this before giving said friend a good slapping.
And finally, drum roll please, this is only faintly amusing if you've not watched The Biggest Loser as at first sight it seems a bit bizarre to read the slogans "Lose Weight" and "Help Feed America" next to each other.
The televised weight loss show is also running a pound for pound scheme where for every pound in weight lost by the those who sign up, a pound of groceries will be delivered to local food banks. Now that's very laudable but I still think the slogans on that product were funny - and remember I was desperate.
So that's it. I promise to grow a backbone, put on my thickest layer of skin and get to the store and take better, funnier and more bizarre photos.
I just KNOW they're in there somewhere. Wal-Mart, I'm on a mission.
And finally, drum roll please, this is only faintly amusing if you've not watched The Biggest Loser as at first sight it seems a bit bizarre to read the slogans "Lose Weight" and "Help Feed America" next to each other.
The televised weight loss show is also running a pound for pound scheme where for every pound in weight lost by the those who sign up, a pound of groceries will be delivered to local food banks. Now that's very laudable but I still think the slogans on that product were funny - and remember I was desperate.
So that's it. I promise to grow a backbone, put on my thickest layer of skin and get to the store and take better, funnier and more bizarre photos.
I just KNOW they're in there somewhere. Wal-Mart, I'm on a mission.
Ahhh. It all reminds me of when I was in America (YES, I'VE BEEN TO AMERICA YOU KNOW)- perhaps even in that very Walmart - and I took a photo of a case of guns - - which were just next to the Christmas decorations and a sparkly tinsel deer. (Mind you, I'd eat Bambi, too). Love and peace, man.
ReplyDeleteYes, USA are not exactly fashion leaders, are they? I was absolutely amazed at the photo of the rifles - you can walk into a supermarket to buy one! Unbelievable!
ReplyDeleteBTW, do you ever get any actual shopping done while you're there?
Love the Wal-Mart posts! I imagine the people in there to be like the US equivalent of Little Britain!
ReplyDeletePeople in America need to realize jus what got America in this shape...cheap... yes so-call cheap items from a foreign land.
ReplyDeletequote*Wal-Mart firmly believes in local procurement. We recognize that by purchasing quality products, we can generate more job opportunities, support local manufacturing and boost economic development. Over 95% of the merchandise in our stores in China is sourced locally. We have established partnerships with nearly 20,000 suppliers in China.*end quote!
Now! if there be 182 country's making items for the world to buy and they have only 5% of the pie in China...duh! This company makes the nice people of China support their currency(yuan) by keeping it in their country working for the people there.... but with the yuan going up in value and the US dollar going down...all the foreign items that the American consumer buys thinking it is cheap has went up in price.
People...its all about the currency and to keep a currency strong you got to keep it floating around the country you live in so it can work for you. For the past 12 years all them US dollars are being shipped overseas to a foreign bank and with the American worker not making anything for the foreigner to buy the "we the people" have to turn to the "second" largest employer in America(Uncle Sam) to sell "we the people" debt in order to get all them dollars back!
50 years ago a foreigner would had given their left nut for a US dollar or a Hershey's chocolate bar and today the same foreigner has got Uncle Sam and the American consumer by both all the while Hershey is moving the chocolate factory to Mexico. Wake up! America and think "MADE IN AMERICA."
quote*"Considering that there are over 30,000 ships at sea this morning," writes James Carlton, director of the Williams College-Mystic Seaport Maritime Studies Program, in an e-mail, "the total number of organisms and species in this global 'bioflow' on the morning your readers read your piece could be staggering - billions of individuals, and thousands of species."
Indeed, scientists have long considered ballast water the primary way invasive aquatic organisms are introduced. From the zebra mussel's arrival in the Great Lakes, to an American jellyfish severely disrupting Black Sea fisheries, the potential costs of accidental introduction of a species to new homes can be tremendous. Aquatic invasives cost the US $9 billion yearly, according to estimates by David Pimentel, professor emeritus of ecology and evolutionary biology at Cornell University in Ithaca, N.Y. Zebra and quagga mussels (a cousin to the zebra) alone cost the $1 billion annually.*end quote!
tats $9 billion in hidden taxes to ALL TAXPAYERS....cheap ain't chic and it cost America jobs! If a USA company can put 95% Chinese made items in their stores in China to help the Chinese workers....why not 95% American made items in the United States of America...tats what the hyphen in the name did years ago before it disappeared and the STAR showed up.
I'll leave this comment in as it says more about the person who wrote it that anything I could say.
ReplyDeleteJust glad I don't spend any time in Texas.
Jenny, I do manage to shop a bit too but with everything going on, I REALLY need to concentrate and use a list ! My local Sainsburys will be so dull by comparison.
Speaking of losing one's left nut (as the previous commenter did), it's probably wise, Ian, not to let Snoopy anywhere near your privates....
ReplyDeleteHey, at least the eggs are located in the refrigerated section instead of on a shelf in the middle of the store cultivating salmonella. ;)
ReplyDelete