Getting Ready For Summer

Well I've been home in England a week now (arrived last Sunday morning) and the first week back is always a bit stressful with lots to do.

Most of the items on my 'to do' list related to starting everything up again after they were in hibernation for the last 6 months : turning on the gas supply, getting car insurance and road tax, getting my cable services (tv and internet) back to normal, arranging car breakdown cover, renewing house insurance and so on.

I also wanted to get my eyes tested, the car serviced and tested and go for my dental checkup.

On the plus side, I wanted a new phone and a new flat screen tv.

I can proudly report that all of those items have been ticked off my 'to do' list except for the new tv, as I've no idea which model to get and I'm not going to rush into such a vital purchase without a LOT of surfing and review reading.

As my 24 month phone contract was up, I was able to replace my HTC Desire with a HTC One X and so far I'm loving it. I'm mostly loving being able to install as many apps as I like due to the vastly increased storage capacity of the One over the Desire. I'm like a kid in a candy store right now and basically what I want, I can have. Woohoooo.

In relation to the car, when it gets tested annually, the dealership notes down the mileage. Last year it was 10001 and this year it was 10682. Yes that's right. In a year I drove 681 miles. Ok it's really in 6 months but even so, the cost of motoring has severely curtailed my day trips and exploration of my home country. I'm planning on doing more this year and to hell with the cost. How unlike me !

I had my eyes tested on Friday and it was no surprise when the results showed I needed new glasses. I was just happy my eyes were ok as I do have pigment dispersion syndrome so get a free annual test on the good old NHS. Health wise they were fine and hopefully the new glasses will help me with my photo editing as I was beginning to think all my photos were blurred !

Finally everything went pretty well with the dentist. I do need to go back this Wednesday as a filling needs a bit of remedial work but all in all, my choppers were in good nick and amazingly still attached to my gums.

So it's been a busy but successful week and now I can relax and enjoy Spring in England. Ha !

That brings me to the downside of returning here after being in Florida. The weather. If only we had decent weather here, just decent, I'd never want to leave. It's rained for over half the time I've been back and the temperatures.....oh my. The central heating has been going 24/7 for the whole week and when I was in the city on Friday, I was frozen. Forget t-shirt and shorts; this weather requires t-shirt, fleece AND jacket and triple denim jeans.

I've gone from needing a hat to save my bald scalp from the blistering sun to needing a hat to stop what little heat is in my body from escaping skywards.

But I'm home and can start planning for a good summer. Armchair sporting highlights will be the European Championships (footy) in June and the Olympics in July & August. Soon we'll start planning our 2012 European Vacation which is always fun and as I said earlier, I want to explore around the UK too.

Good times ahead. I've much to be thankful for.

Cold, Wet & Windy. Yes I'm Home !

I've been home about 8 hours now and as I was last in bed over 30 hours ago, I'm not too sure why I'm still awake.

Of course the state one is in after 30 hours awake can hardly be classed as.....awake. Right now I would confess to any crime if pressed. A while ago I was standing in the kitchen with no idea why I'd gone there. Six hours ago I fixed a large mug of tea and it's still beside me, untouched. I 'watched' two back to back footy games and couldn't tell you the scores to save my life. Not too sure who played.

Yes I'm in the transatlantic twilight zone. But I WILL be going to bed soon. After I fix something to eat. Something simple. Something I remember how to cook. If I can find the operating manual, toast seems favourite.

I'm also cold. It's taken those 8 hrs to get the house up to 64.5F. I've an electric blanket warming my bed though so once I actually get up the stairs and into bed, I'll be golden. Today, as with most days in April here it seems, has been cold, wet and windy. The weather in Buttonwood Bay is already a distant memory. Fading as fast as my tan.

Anyway this was just a post to report that I'm back home, safe and sound after a pretty awful but uneventful flight. I just need to sleep, get used to long pants and not try and use the car until after I tax it on Tuesday, being as that's the start of the month.

Anything else I type now will be ramble. Waffle. Possibly jibberish. I know, more jibberish.

That is all.

The Return Of The Snowbird

I've just opened my last Amaretto flavoured creamer, I'm down to the final dregs of my coffee grounds and my supply of puffed wheat is almost out of.....puff.

What do these odd facts mean ?

They mean that in two days time, I'll be off to Orlando airport to return home as my 6 month winter sojourn will be over. Next winter I really will experience a cold winter for the first time this century as I plan on staying in the UK. It's been so long since I spent winter at home that I seem to have developed Dickensian images of experiencing Christmas in England. A warm glowing log fire, a heavily decorated Christmas tree in the corner, rosy cheeked kids opening presents and a dining table groaning under the weight of a huge turkey meal with all the trimmings. Oh and the Queen on telle at 3pm with the sound muted !

I'm not sure if old Charlie boy wrote about such scenes but then again, Hollywood has messed so much with my mind that I donno what's real and what's made up anymore. Certainly seeing the Queen on tv didn't appear in the plot of any Dickens novel I read.

Of course I might be somewhere completely different next winter. I don't really 'do' cold weather after being in Florida for half of the last 12 years. For instance, even though it's April, the temp here tomorrow is due to be spot on 90F and the temp in Leeds......45F. Even with my maths skills, that's half as warm ! I doubt my sun kissed ebony knees will be exposed to the English population until sometime in mid August - by which time they will be pale and uninteresting again !

Will I EVER return to Florida ? Never say never but a return is not on my radar at the moment. I'm still (relatively) healthy and I want to travel while I can still walk up an incline without a rope around my waist. For the last few years I've been fortunate enough to combine spending the winter months in Florida with travelling around Europe in the summer. Ok that sounds a bit grand as in the summers we've only gone to a few European countries and only for a few weeks at a time but still......the statement stands.

We've (Daphne, Stephen and myself) visited Belgium, Holland, France, Italy and Spain in the last 3 years and I have to say these all too brief visits to Le Continent have only whetted (I love that word) my appetite for more travelling, either solo or with friends. Of course touring during the winter months is a different matter, which is why I've been more than happy to have been here in sunny Florida.

But it's time to more on. On to pastures new maybe. Where do most retired Brits go for the winter ? SPAIN !!

I may have said it before on here but when I'm abroad, I like to steer clear of my fellow Brits as for the most part (and I know this is a terrible generalisation), Brits abroad are best avoided.......even those NOT wearing Man Utd shirts ! So to spend an entire winter in a sort of 'Brit community' in somewhere like Benidorm would be like hell on earth for me. When abroad, I like to BE abroad and mix with the locals (English speaking ones of course) and sample the local food (fish and chips, roast beef and Yorkshire pud, curry etc......all locally sourced) and even watch local tv stations (showing Coronation Street and Premier League footy). I like to blend in you see ! Oh yes.

So if that rules out vast tracts of Southern Spain, where else could I go ? Well there's always Australia I suppose. They speak a form of English there, love us Brits (!?!) and share my passion for a good bbq. Just not shrimps, please. Yuck.

Sadly they're pretty crap at cricket and swimming and footy - most sports really. In fact, they favour a strange version of footy which is a mix of soccer, rugby and street brawling and they believe that riding large waves on polished slabs of timber is fun. We Brits think waves are for looking at from the comfort of a beach deckchair so the idea of standing precariously on a glorified Ikea wardrobe door is totally alien to us.

No, I don't think wintering in Australia would be for me. Too far, too expensive to get there and full of Australians. And spiders. And jellyfish. And Koala bears.

Ruling out most tropical islands and not wanting to create further argy bargy with Argentina by spending the winter in the Falklands, I need to look closer to home but still somewhere south enough to be warm.

Tenerife ? Hmmmm.

Who ? What ? Where ?

Tenerife is the largest of the 7 Canary Islands which lie off the west coast of North Africa so it would seem only appropriate to be a snowbird there. Get it...snowbird......canary ? Oh please yourselves !

It 'belongs' to Spain and best of all, there are direct flights from my local Leeds/Bradford airport !

A work friend (Daz) moved there with his family and now runs his own mountain bike operation as I believe that unlike in Florida, there are a few hills in Tenerife. Spookily enough, being almost exactly on the same latitude as Sebring, it's pleasantly warm there in the winter, renting a condo for 6 months wouldn't bankrupt me and once again, I'd not be in England.

Ok I'd not know a soul (apart from Daz), not many people would speak English, the food might not be agreeable to me or my delicate stomach and I might have a problem keeping up to date with the goings on in Wetherfield but hey, once again, I'd not be in England.

I do know they have t'interclacker as I can Skype with Daz so that generally means electricity. Hopefully clean running water and good indoor sanitation are also available (you can tell I know little about Tenerife) so as long as I don't develop an aversion to all things pasta, I should be good to trot. Well not literally !

Anyway that's all in the future. My immediate problem is how to get everything back home that I've accumulated over the last decade of coming here every winter. To keep the baggage costs down, I'm thinking my bike, golf clubs and lots of clothing will have to be sacrificed. The clothing loss will be lessened with the knowledge that I'm not exactly the same shape as I was 10 years or so ago. Many items should've been discarded already but you know how it is.......I told myself I WOULD get into those size 28 waist pants again one day. Ha ! Those days are LONG gone.

So packing will be....interesting to say the least. A challenge at best and a nightmare at worst. At £32 for the first extra case (thank you Virgin Atlantic), a few essentials may fall by the wayside. Or the next garage sale to be more practical.

Of course I may return here at some point so hopefully all relatively important items can be packed away in crates for that eventuality. I'm hoping that I can say 'au revoir' and not 'adieu' to the friends I've made here in sunny Buttonwood Bay although only the French Canadians would know the difference and, being snowbirds, they all went back home weeks ago.

I'd like to say a huge thank you to Deb and Den for letting me share their lives here for so long. Never has so much been owed to so few by even less few.

Catchy eh ? Yeah I know, not as pleasing as that other guy's quote.

As you may have gleaned from my many blog posts and photographs from this park over the years, it's a beautiful place and I'll be sad come Saturday when I leave. But I have a homecoming to look forward to - maybe a burst pipe or two, the house like an icebox, 6 months of accumulated dust and no palm trees in the garden. Sighhhhhhh.

On the up side, I'll get to hug old friends (even if they don't want to be hugged), have transport again, be able to get traditional English takeaways like Chinese and Indian and watch tv adverts that don't mention trucks with impressive torque stats, medications with life taking side effects or someone called Gary who insists he be my first port of call if I have an accident or need a lawyer or both.

Speaking of adverts, I may just watch the BBC for a few hours so as not to get ANY. Wooohooo.

So my next blog post should be from sunless olde England where we drive on the left which is right, use both the fork AND knife to cut meat and can speak English without the need for subtitles - cause it's OUR language. We invented it so there.

I'll say au revoir for now (as adieu will be my next door neighbour) and 'see' you all again from t'other side of the pond.

The Return Of The 'Boy Racer'

Yes hello. It's me. Remember me ? No ? Don't blame you. I've been AWOL for 3 weeks so thank you for sticking with me.

If anyone has !

So yesterday I biked into town again. I say again as I've done it twice before on this trip and I have to say, it's been easier each time. Either I'm getting fitter or, and this is much more likely, it helps that I have been taking it easier/slower each time !

Now first up, I have a question to ask all budding meteorologists out there. When one is peddling into a decent head wind on the way somewhere and looking forward to the return trip when one fully expects that wind to be at one's back when one is much more tired......WHY DOESN'T IT FREAKIN' HAPPEN ???

Can wind blow in opposite directions at about the same time ? Cause it damn well seemed so yesterday. Thankfully it wasn't too strong but I really could've done with it at my back as after 20 miles or so in mid 80's temperatures, I needed all the help I could get.

I'd initially wanted to make the trip sans backpack as it can end up being quite heavy and it makes my back sweat. But I wanted my phone. I wanted my camera. I wanted at least 2 bottles of water. I wanted some sweeties. I wanted a new iPad and desktop computer but that's a different story.

So backpack it was.

I set off at 11:20 and within seconds was out of the park and onto the back road into town. For the first 25 minutes I saw no other vehicles. Nothing passed me and understandably, I passed nothing.

Actually no. I passed a snake but it was very dead, and flat, and therefore not going very fast at all.

And I loved it. The flat open road, the sun beating down and Val Doonican on the mp3 player. Now you've really never experienced life if you've never biked along in Florida listening to Val Doonican crooning about Delaney's Donkey or Paddy McGinty's Goat. The whole experience was surreal and brought a smile to my lips which helped me coast along at a decent pace, despite the wind and having to process the large bowl of puffed wheat I'd foolishly consumed before setting off. Thinking about it, one may have caused the other.

My plan was to continue on the back roads until I was about half a mile from the junction with US-27, the main 6 lane road through Sebring and then branch off to the golf course we go to every Monday. I was hoping I could weasel my way to getting a cart and going out to take photos of certain holes for nostalgia purposes. This was not to be.

The course was almost empty (a good sign) but so was the club house (a bad sign) and so there was no one to ask. I took the opportunity to have a short rest and then I rode on to join US-27.

By now it was 12:25 and I was hungry again. From previous rides into town I knew I was pretty much limited to using a fast food drive thru for my food choices as I've no lock for my bike. I knew it wasn't likely that anyone in a car driving US town with an aged population would want to 'borrow' my bike but I couldn't take the risk. Some migrant orange picker might find himself on the run from the border police and decide he'd get to Mexico faster by bike !

Hey, it COULD happen !

As I approached the nearest Burger King, I saw there was an RV park across the road. At the first property, right by the entrance, an old man was cutting his lawn and I asked him if I could leave my bike at his place while I nipped over and had something to eat. Of course when he heard my accent and found out I was from England, he asked me if I knew so-and-so as he'd been based in England during the war and made lots of friends there.

Telling him that I knew lots of so-and-so's in England (!!) I inched away slowly and said I'd be back soon for my bike.

I have to admit it was wonderful to walk into that BK with no bike worries (I'd left the old man talking earnestly to it about the women he'd met in Gloucestershire in 1944) and I immediately recognised a friend from Buttonwood Bay in the line. Knowing Hank would never be out without his wife, I scanned the seats and there was Sharon reading the supermarket ad papers over in a corner. Small world.

I put this phone photo up onto Facebook and have just taken it from there to save time so it's not great quality but shows Hank & Sharon in Burger King and that's what matters !

I got a kids meal so that I wouldn't be processing a lot as I continued my riding. Always thinking you see.

The old man had gone inside when I returned to his house and so I quietly recovered my bike and rode away, my guilt at not being able to thank him being easily offset by not having to listen his war stories.

The ride from there into Sebring Old Town was wonderful as there is a cycle path (ok it's a sidewalk but well used by cyclists) and it goes along the south and east of Lake Jackson. After only about 10 minutes I was at my destination, Sebring Circle, which is a roundabout at the focal point of the old town with 6 streets leading to and from it like the spokes of a wheel. This is classic old town America as beloved by Bill Bryson with Ma & Pa stores, small family run eateries and wonderful emporiums where you can buy anything from a hub cap for a '69 Corvette to a pack of scented ribbed condoms. In Sebring, there would be many more enquiries for the former over the later.

And right by the Circle there was a fire hydrant and it was spewing water ! Now I know this is a tad silly but I was overly thrilled as I'd never seen this before. Not personally. Not in real life. I'd seen all those movies when little kids would dance happily through the gushing waters of an open fire hydrant in mid town New York during a hot summer. Now it was MY turn.

But the Sebring locals were spared this experience and I was probably spared a night in the cells as the water pressure was so low that I'd have been hard pushed to get my feet wet. I've seen more pressure from a drinking fountain.

But it was still cool.

Minutes before, the water had been a rusty brown colour, so hot as I was, I didn't fancy taking a drink. You're probably not supposed to drink water from a hydrant at the best of times so I returned to my backpack and had some of the bottled variety instead.

Then I crossed over into the little park created in the middle of the Circle and sat down on a bench to rest and take in the views. As always, there was a humungous flag pole in the centre, towering over a memorial to the Sebring soldiers who had gone off to fight in various wars, never to return alive.

Behind me I looked along the path that led to one of the 6 streets leading from the Circle and noticed a classic street clock right out of Back to The Future. The face of the clock was in deep shadow as there were numerous tall trees within this little park area but hopefully these photos give an idea of the style of the clock.

Just beyond it, I liked the view down the street so zoomed in for a better image......

By now I'd been out in the hot sun for almost 3 hours, discounting my time in Burger King, so it was time to head back to Buttonwood. Just a few yards from the Circle, I came upon a police car parked up with its lights flashing. In front was a small truck with someone sitting in the back (don't think that was the crime) and the officer was handing over a ticket to the driver. I thought it best not to try and take a photo of this incident as for one thing, by the time I'd taken my backpack off and got out the camera, both parties would be gone. It'll have to be my little memory, and thus probably forgotten by this time tomorrow !

I don't know if it was the rest I took, the BK kids burger with small fries or the Cherry Coke Zero I'd just finished off, but something gave me the energy to ride the 10 miles back with ease, not stopping once. Even the wind in my face couldn't slow me down. I was Lance Armstrong for those 45 minutes.

So it WAS probably the Coke then !

I returned hot, sweaty but only slightly tired. I used MapMyRun to work out how far I'd ridden and it was 21.88 miles. Not too shabby for an old guy who has to pay a fortune for medical insurance as I have 'a pre-existing medical condition'. Pah.

I think when I go home I'll ask for a partial refund.

Golden Years ?

Into the 3rd week in March and I've only posted 2 blogs ! Clearly the blogging Muse has abandoned me.

Writers of successful blogs (in terms of visitor numbers at least) tend to post regularly, if not daily. I've never been one for doing that as I never intended my blog to be any sort of online diary. I said a few weeks ago that I'd try doing that but as you can tell, it hasn't worked. My daily life just isn't that interesting....even here in sunny Buttonwood Bay.

Specialist blogs do well too. Dieting, cooking and crafting seem to top the list and no doubt any blog dealing with celebrity, real or made up, will also get thousands of visitors.

So as I don't diet, can't cook, am not crafty and have never met a celebrity (except for some actor from Emmerdale when he came out of Leeds Costco), my blog post topics are somewhat limited.

I thought that travel posts would be cool and even helpful but they take so much time to create that I quickly lose interest in doing them. I've still a few holiday posts that have never been completed and I really have little enthusiasm for returning to them now. Take it from me, Italy, France and Spain are all wonderful and we had great times there. Done.

Oh that felt so liberating.....as if with those unfinished posts out of the way, I have a fresh canvas.

Right, in keeping with that artistic image, my brush is poised and I'm all set to go..........

Ahhh....ummm.........sighhhhhh......dammit Muse, hit me with something ! ANYTHING !!

Well ok, a "funny" thing happened on the drive back from golfing on Monday. Jack and Barrie, along with new member, Jerry, were discussing ages. I think this came about after Jerry suddenly decided to give us the results of his recent prostate test, something I could've done without knowing.

Despite being a good result, the subsequent chat revolved around the well known fact that ANY prostate result is a bit meaningless when you're around 80 years old as you're likely to be dead from something else before a dodgy prostate takes you.

Anyway, ages were mentioned and I said something like "God I'm playing golf with a right bunch of old farts." Said in a compassionate and caring way of course.

"Why, what age are you" came the response.

"59"

"OMG you're a youngster."

Now considering I've been somewhat dreading the rapid approach of my 60th birthday in June, this was like music to my ears. Seriously. Music. I suddenly DID feel young. I know, crazy eh ?

You see it's all relative. In this park, the average age is probably in the 70's. I mean you have to be 55 just to get in ! There are probably 3 of us out of about 2,000 who are under 60 and we all live in this house ! Dennis is my age and Debby is even younger.

Back in the real world, my approaching 60th birthday will cause people to believe that I'll be senile, over the hill, geriatric, and possibly a bit useless. Yet apart from losing several thousand memory cells, being a bit physically slower and napping during daytime tv, I feel better than I did 20 years ago.

But the age 'number' is hard to fight against. Most people have preconceived ideas when they hear you are 50, 60, 70 etc. We get told we live in a young society where old relatives are not valued for their life experiences but actually ignored, treated as nuisances and plonked in front of the tv from dawn till dusk. If nothing else prematurely ages a person, that will.

Here in this park, and many others like it, retired people generally live to ripe old ages because they keep active, keep involved and look out for each other. Every few minutes, residents are walking or cycling past my window. The small gym is full by 7am and water aerobics sessions are going on around the same time to keep hearts pumping and arteries unclogged. Tennis and other games are in full flow and indoors, all forms of dancing and manual dexterity crafts are in progress to keep the effects of arthritis at bay.

But the boost I got by hearing myself called a youngster the other day proves that a lot of how you feel physically is determined by how you feel mentally.....and right now I feel great.

60 ? Bring it on !

I donno if we have parks like this in the UK but we should have. Yes we have caravan parks and holiday parks and so on but do we have parks for retirees ? Before I came here I'd have doubted their usefulness but now I'm a convert. If only we had Florida style weather in the UK.

Buttonwood Bay proves the old adage that "you are as young as you feel" and I have to say that being around people older than me and who are just as active as me, if not more so, has lessened my dread of being 60.

In just over 5 weeks time I'll be back in the real world again and back in the UK where I'll be made to face my age in a much different way. I just hope I can take the BB energy and positivity back with me.

One positive note will be that when I reach 60, I'll qualify for free prescriptions. See, it's not all bad !

On the down side however, any water aerobics might have to be done in my shower.

Move Along Please - No Fish To See Here.

Without being too sexist, it's a well known fact that wherever a group of men are gathered, golf and/or fishing stories will be related, debated and often contested.

To keep that tradition going, I shall relate the three highlights of our regular Monday golf game yesterday as believe me, I've rarely had ONE decent story to relate, never mind three !

But don't get too excited as these stories don't include a hole in one, killing a gator with a belly putter or a vulture dropping a fish from 200ft onto the fairway. Actually to be honest, these aren't stories as such, but 3 individual shots that will live long in our memories - or in my case till a week on Wednesday.

Another reason for recording them in his here blog thingy.

Ok lemme set the scene. Jack, Barrie and myself were playing at Harder Hall Country Club and to let you know our standard, we usually go round with scores in the low to mid 90's. So we won't be joining the PGA senior tour anytime soon but man do we have fun.

The first memorable shot came from Jack but sadly he was the only one who saw it. It was the par 4 10th hole with houses and the "out of bounds" along the right side of the fairway. In the past, I've had several drives go close to or, in one case 2 weeks ago, actually go into a hedged garden and despite seeing it sitting up on the very lush bermuda grass, I couldn't retrieve it without trespassing.

This time it was Barrie who sent his ball, we thought, into the same garden but he had a ball retriever in his bag and so with me in attendance (as my own ball narrowly missed going in as well) he managed to hook it out - only to discover it wasn't his ball at all. In fact we never did find his ball.

While all this was taking place over on the right of the approach to the green, Jack must've been having fun of his own down the left side and had plonked his 3rd shot into the green side bunker. Barrie and I were still messing about finding and retrieving balls and had no idea what Jack was doing when we suddenly heard him shout out. He'd taken his 4th shot from the bunker and it had sailed onto the green and rolled right into the hole !

Now I'm only assuming he holed out in par as I think his shout would've been a lot louder if he'd holed for a birdie or even an eagle - no he was just excited about holing from the bunker so I think a par was his score. Anyway he was the only witness to this feat but he made sure we heard his shout and his ball was indeed in the hole, as I removed it myself when I eventually made it up onto the green.

That was excitement No.1.

Well I never said it would be VERY exciting !

A few holes later and with the grin still fresh on Jack's face, it was Barrie's moment to shine and this time we were all witnesses. He'd already hacked a few shots from the light rough down the left side of the fairway and even hit a tree with his ball almost returning to his feet, when he finally hit a shot that landed about 20 feet from a green side bunker. As he viewed his chip, Jack gave Barrie some sage if rather optimistic advice : -

"Just chip it over that bunker and it'll feed down to the hole, hit the flag and go in."

Yes thank you Jack. If only we played golf to that standard !

Well blow me if that isn't exactly what happened. Any comments forming in my head were changing by the second as his chip shot flew off the club face......

Oh good chip over the bunker, Barrie.

Oh well done getting it on the green, Barrie.

Wow you've hit the flag, Barrie.

OMG it's gone in !

Actually it was teasingly better than that as when the ball hit the flag, it was going at a fair pace and so bounced back a little onto the rim of the hole. I thought it was going to sit there and still be an awesome shot but a second later, it disappeared into the hole and that small part of Harder Hall Country Club was treated to the bizarre spectacle of three grown men leaping around and "high fiving" like they'd each won The Masters.

That was excitement No.2.

By now I was feeling decidedly left out ! Then we got to the short par 3 16th and it was my turn to hog the golfing spotlight.

My 8 iron tee shot sent the ball arcing 125 yds over the water hazard and onto the back of the green and I was already thinking.......ohhhhhh I could get a par here.

I'm nothing if not realistic when it comes to my putting skills !

Once on the green, I began to think a par was being optimistic as my ball was on the back edge of a quite severe slope leading to the hole. I'd have to aim my putt along the edge of the slope about 6 feet to the left of the hole and then let it roll almost at a right angle for another 5 feet to the hole. Just getting it close would be an achievement.

(Well I have to build this up a bit as after all, it's MY turn and MY blog)

Now lets be honest here. I know as much about checking a green's grain and lining up a putt as I know about the national flag of Uganda. Nothing. Nada. Zip.

But I can see where the ball needs to go to get to the hole. My problem is that usually the ball doesn't take this route as I'm a pretty crap putter.

Not on this occasion. My putt was a joy to behold and all 3 of us watched as it left my club face and trundled on its merry way along the slope. The speed seemed good. The line was just as I wanted it to be. After about 15 feet it started to turn down the slope towards the hole and I felt it was going to be close. Quite close. Very close. OMG close.

IN THE HOLE close !

A birdie ! Better still, my first ever 2 in golf. My years of patiently watching golf on tv were finally paying off. And people said I was lazy and wasting my time. Ha !

The ball dropped in with all the speed of a very slow snail but all the grace of a Bolshoi prima ballerina and for the third time on the back 9, a trio of shouts went up, the fives were high and a good day just got even better. Now we ALL had shots to talk about and I'm afraid you, dear readers, will have to be my grandchildren on this occasion as I don't have any real ones to tell.

What a day ! What a back 9. What a great feeling seeing a 2 on my scorecard.........in between a 6 and a 7 but what the heck, it was still there.

My final score was 94 which won't win any prizes but we play for fun and fun we had.

And yesterday, for 3 brief moments in time, we each felt like a pro.

But unlike them, we didn't just casually touch the peaks of our caps. We didn't just give a small wave. Hell no. We shouted like idiots, smiled like crazy loons and slapped each other more times than was comfortably necessary.

And best of all ? We get to try it all again next Monday !

And yes, I'll be back watching golf on the telle this weekend.

My advice to those pros ?

When you get a birdie, chip in from a bunker or from over a bunker, at least try and look happy and excited.

After all, 3 of us now know the feeling.

Three Men & A Baby.

Blimey, one post in nearly three weeks ! I'll be losing my Blogger Membership status at this rate.

So what's been going on here in sunny Buttonwood Bay ?

Well the main 'event' has been the 7 day visit of Deb & Den's eldest son, Brian and his family - wife Tara and kids Mason (4) and Emerson (baby). Youngest son, Joshua, joined this mini family gathering for 2 days from his home in Miami, a 3 hr drive away on the most boring road in the whole world including all the roads in N. Dakota ! Now that's boring !

So it's been....different. My experiences around 4 year olds and a baby could be counted on one finger although I have been around some adults here who have displayed the same characteristics !

Spewing 'stuff' from both ends and talking nonsense would be the two most common abilities.

Day 1 passed in a bit of a sleepy haze as the family had set off from their Michigan hotel at about 3am to catch the 6am flight to Tampa. Arriving in the park at 1pm or so, the rest of the day was spent trying to get a few words out of 2 VERY tired adults and 2 young 'uns who thought their world had changed completely. A few hours previously they'd been in a world of snow and critters with antlers and were now in a world of baking heat and critters with hard skin and very large mouths. Yes, park residents !

After a few hours sleep for them all, next day, and every day since, with temperatures reaching the 90's and the sun cracking the paving stones, the park's main swimming pool has been the favourite place to spend outdoor time. Here is the family group with, left to right, Tara, Dennis, Mason, Brian, Debby and Joshua.

Ok with introductions over, here are a few more pool shots..........

Now I know what you're thinking.......what on earth is going on in those last two pics ?

Well in the penultimate one, Joshua is showing us that Darren Brown/David Blane aren't the only people who can do a spot of levitation and who knows, he might be the only one to do it in a swimming pool ! Ha !

As for the last photo, well you're on your own there. It could be a recreation of a scene from "The Hunt For Red October" but most likely it's simply a fun thing to do with the broken off end of a swimming pool 'noodle.' I can report, however, that as a snorkling device, a noodle is as much use as toilet roll.

Works a little but you'd never want to explore the Great Barrier Reef with one.

Moving on, here are a few random generation type pics of cuteness........

And then some random shots of just cuteness.........

And here is Mason helping out with the dishes......by adding to those needing to be washed ! It's early days.

I changed it to sepia as for one thing, there was very little colour in the photo to start with and for another, well I felt it added a bit of 'yesteryear' to the shot. A sort of "if Hovis did washing up liquid" kinda thing.

Lots of fresh air, hot weather and swimming can take it out of kids, and big kids too. But there is always nature's way of recharging batteries.

A good nap.

We'll miss the patter of tiny (and larger) feet when they all leave tomorrow but it's been great being able to accommodate them all here.

On Tuesday 2 more retired friends from Michigan will be coming for a visit.

Maybe we'll leave the toys out for them !

Eye Ball, Eye Ball.

" So.....how many pounds am I pushing you, good buddy ? "

Eh ?

Oh come on now. CB radio ? You never tried it ? No ?

Well I did. Back in the 80's of course when it had a very brief introduction into the UK. Like with most things in the UK though, it was quickly ruined by those who didn't have it so didn't want YOU to have it and also by those that had it but spoiled it for everyone else.

I know that in 1983 BC (Before Cellphones), I had my mobile rig and twig for my car. The rig was like a car radio and was fitted near the gear stick so you could fiddle with the knobs (!) and the twig, or aerial, was on the car roof. Naturally.

It was this aerial that was prone to being removed by those that did not have a CB radio and felt that if they didn't, no one else should. It's a British thing. Try setting up a nice ornament in your front garden and see how long it lasts !

Anyway after a couple of years and having to replace 2 twigs, I gave up on CB radio and so did the rest of the nation. I'm sure that was just a coincidence. The kids had taken it over with bad language and stupidity and now they've moved on to doing the same with cell phones but at least only the other party has to hear them. Unless you're on a train or a bus, or in a queue/line, in a restaurant, theatre, supermarket............sighhhhhh. Then you ARE the other party.

So why am I rambling on about CB radio ? Well yesterday I finished my library book and last night, in a moment of bedroom boredom, I downloaded a scanner app on my phone. I installed this particular app a year or more ago but removed it when I needed the space. Now I have the space and just fancied listening in on the exciting worlds of the police, emergency services, airports and radio hams ! Everywhere.

Not surprisingly, despite uninstalling the app a year ago, a list of those stations I'd added as favourites came up after installing it again. So much for a clean uninstall. Anyway it did save me a bit of time and so I was right into the local police "station" from the get go.

I listened. I kept listening. I could hear static but little else. Clearly being in a county where the vast majority of the residents are in bed by 9pm, I wasn't going to hear anything exciting at midnight !

This morning though has been another matter. All sorts of excitement going on.

First up was a report of violence at the local McDonald's after a woman was told she wasn't being given a job after her interview. I found this a bit unbelievable actually.

I'd no idea McDonald's did interviews !

Whilst numerous police officers (and no doubt the local SWAT team) were on their way to stop a possible (sesame) bun fight, there was more excitement. Someone reported a youth firing a BB gun at birds and squirrels and so part of the McDonald's SWAT team had to deploy elsewhere and protect the local wildlife.

It all goes on in Highlands County !

Then came real drama. A car had gone into a ditch (I'd better not say where) and a woman was in serious condition. There were no witnesses to this accident but there were reports of a man fleeing the scene. When the police arrived, the woman had only a faint pulse and the officer was concerned to find a child seat in the car. He reported in that he was now looking for the child.

In the end there was no child and the air ambulance was on route to take the woman to hospital.

UPDATE : just this second had an update that a white male and an Hispanic male were seen exiting the car and leaving the scene on foot.

But I think I need to uninstall this phone app......again. Not because I need the space but because......well I guess it's like watching those tv shows about extreme hoarders. It's a bit sick. Those hoarders need help and not just help to clean up their houses. They clearly have medical issues and why should tv shows be made about them in the guise of "entertainment" ? It's voyeurism on a grand scale.

Having the technology to listen in on police and emergency services around the world is all well and good but it's a bit voyeuristic too. The police aren't usually called to 'happy' events. Same goes for ambulance and fire crews. So when we listen to scanners, we're mostly listening to the personal problems of others. Often light hearted of course but sometimes extremely sad.

As the app doesn't have a 'no traumatic reports please' filter, I guess it has to go. I could just choose to listen to planes landing at obscure airports or listen in on radio hams across the world but unlike with CB radio, scanner listening is just that.....listening.

Now if I could TALK with the pilot as he's landing at JFK, that would be cool. Kinda dangerous, but cool.

"Hey, y'all. Fly me to Cuba."

"WTF !! Who is this and how did you get on this frequency ?"

"Oh go on, fly me to Cuba.....please."

"Get off the air. I'm trying to land this plane."

"Then will you fly me to Cuba ?"

"Are you nuts ? Who ARE you "

"Ahhhhh only joking, man. Land your little plane and we'll talk again later, ok ? "

"Tower.....tower.....TOWER !!! I think I've just been scannered."

So no, the scanner app, like CB radio, is not for me. Been there, done that, liked it for a while.

UPDATE : the woman has been airlifted to Tampa Hospital and the police are actively searching for the two men.

Well I never said I'd uninstall it app today !

A Recipe for Disaster

Last time, I mentioned the bite I got in the line of duty. Well in the line of taking photographs really.

I've still got it. I've doused the area with alcohol to the extent that my left arm is permanently pissed but the raised 'zit' is still there and if I absent mindedly scratch around it, I'm scratching for 10 minutes.

Hey ho. Could've been worst I guess. I could've been bitten by a Cottonmouth snake !

Btw, I loved this advice on a site about snakes...... "Generally speaking, if you encounter a snake and you are unsure whether it is dangerous, or not, you should avoid it."

Brilliant !

Thankfully I rarely see snakes here in the park. There are 'only' 6 poisonous types in Florida but believe me, if I see ANY snake, I avoid it. After trying to photograph it of course !

Gators though, are everywhere. And those cute little lizards. And spiders the size of mice ! And all of them will try and enter the house which is why I always keep the doors locked. So far it's worked as I don't believe any of them can pick a lock.

(And they told me years of watching the Natl Geographic channel was rotting my brain. Ha !)

Anyway back to my sort of diary.

Yesterday we didn't play golf. We wussed out. At 7am it was 31F/-0.5c and us oldies don't go out when it's that cold. If I'm going to slice and hook balls into the water, trees, bunkers and rough and loose about a dozen doing so, I'm not going to freeze to death as well. I want to enjoy it !

So seeing the forecast, Jack rang me on Sunday night to say....lets not. And I agreed.

Instead of playing golf, I played cook instead. Deb had given me a shopping list and a recipe and after driving into town to fulfil the order, I then hit the kitchen. I diced and sliced for 90 minutes and ended up with a shed load of carrots, onions, celery, red and yellow peppers, potatoes, a blister on my left hand and numerous nicks and cuts on several fingers.

Food preparation is freakin' dangerous, people !

The worst cut was from a potato peeler I was using to 'skin' the carrots......with. I went off the end of a carrot and onto the end of my index finger. Owwwwy.

Then there was the knife. A big ass knife. A Rambo knife. I was using this WMD to dice the aforementioned veggies and tried to emulate the chefs I see on tv. Keep the veg still and rock the blade along it with smooth and rhythmic cutting strokes. Oh yeah. It was working just fine till I sensed I was not so much slicing an inanimate vegetable as a very animate finger part.

If Edward Scissorhands and Freddie Kruger had high fived each other, there couldn't have been more blood on display.

Bravely I carried on, deciding not to tell anyone I was adding a 'secret' ingredient to the casserole. I'd blame the red pepper for the unusual colour.

So once the 4.5 lbs of meat was diced and everything tossed into the huge pot, beef broth was added and finally salt, pepper and garlic powder were liberally sprinkled on top. Seven bay leaves were placed artistically and finally it was good to go. With the lid in place, the pot was shoved into the oven and 4 hours later the three of us sat down to a wonderful meal with enough left overs to make about 10 more meals. Just the thing for cool Floridian evenings.

Apart from hacking into body parts, the food preparation had caused even more drama. As you might imagine, the residue from preparing 15 carrots, 6 onions, 12 potatoes, 2 peppers and a butt load of celery put a bit of a strain on the garbage disposal unit and just before the last pile of cuttings went down, it gave up the ghost in a very noisy and watery way.

The meal took 4 hours to cook and the disposal unit took 3 hours to unblock. Dennis and I both had goes with the sink plunger, each taking over from the other when our arms needed a rest. There were encouraging gurgles from time to time but after over 2 hours hard work, all we had achieved was water moving from one sink to the other, depending on which one was being plunged ! Clearly the blockage was further along the pipework and so was impervious to being plunged.

Deciding to take his break, Dennis went to the bathroom and after flushing the toilet, I heard a whooooooosh from the kitchen sinks and hurrah, the blockage was gone and the disposal was disposing again.

Just how flushing the toilet unblocked the disposal unit beats the crap out of me !

I blamed the carrot shavings. They were long and thin and wet and probably not ideal for grinding up and so probably bypassed the disposal unit's 'teeth' and slid along the pipework and came together to block the system. Hey, it's a theory.

One thing I can tell you and this won't come as a shock to anyone familiar with waste disposal units; it gets your heart pumping when you put your hand down one even with the switch off. And boy do you look at that switch a lot when doing it ! Logic tells you that as long as it's in the off position, your digits will be safe and remain attached to your hand.

But in your mind, you just know it's like sticking your hand into a nest of sleeping Cottonmouth snakes.

Best avoided.

Don't Bite The Hand That Photographs You.

When I go on my (almost) daily walk around the park, I do just that. I walk along the outermost streets ending up back 'home' and that's just short of a 3 mile walk...which I currently do in about 45 mins.

Not very fast I know but I have to build up speed slowly or else I get a bit of 'exercise asthma' when my chest feels tight and then it never leaves me the whole walk. If I start slowly and don't get the tightness, then I can gradually speed up till my little fat legs are just a blur and stunned residents think they've been passed by a mini cyclone !

This route doesn't take me along either of the internal nature trails, one that goes along the water channel leading to the lake and the other that goes along a path more likely to be infested with gators, snakes and all sorts of creepy crawlies.

So when I'd finished my walk and still had some energy left, I got on my bike and went along the channel trail. This trail goes to the lake and then follows it along past the pier, the pickleball court, the bocce courts, the shuffleboard courts and finally into the shady grove where the numerous trees provide relief from the sun and sitting at wooden picnic tables affords lovely views of the lake.

I took a few photos around the grove area and then 'played' with one or two on Photoshop to make them a bit different from the norm. But first up is a standard photo of a little lizard that was posing on one of the weird stumps which are by the lakeside at the grove.

I try not to overuse Photoshop as you can end up with a totally different photo but now and then, hell it's just fun. I'm also very conscious of the fact that I've posted so many photos of the same views over the years and the blue lake and blue sky and green trees.....well it can all get a bit repetitive !

Here are two I 'shopped' from yesterday.

Different I guess ! I think they're not as good as the originals when viewed small size and look much better when full screen so feel free to click on them. May not be full screen but the extra detail you'll get should help.

Whilst taking the photos, I used a tree as a stabalising 'device' and later I found I'd been bitten by something...maybe a fire ant. This morning the bite area had swollen quite a bit, topped with a nasty coloured puss spot. I burst the spot and dabbed the area with alcohol (probably shouldn't have used gin !) so I'm hoping that'll do the trick. It's not sore or itchy but it's right under my watch band and so it's mostly just irritating.

So as I'm suffering for my art, the photos are that much more important !

I realise Buttonwood Bay Grove isn't exactly Helmand Provence but as with my walking, it's all a case of building up slowly.

And So To Recap.............

Today I got the same number of socks out of the washer/dryer as I put in.

Yep, it's been a good day !

Yesterday was good too. Very good. I played golf and got 5 pars. Yes 5 !!!!!!!!!!

That's about....ahhhh.....lemme see now, 5 more than usual. Well certainly 4 more. Maybe 3 on a good day. I even got a par on the evil Par 5 17th which has water guarding the green. And I went in the water - as usual. The ball that is. Not me. And I STILL got a par.

Woohoooo. I was on fire.

Sadly only one person saw me get that par. Actually even he didn't quite see it as for some bizarre reason, when both of us hit our 4th shots onto the green close to the hole (he'd gone in the water too), he wandered off to look for balls at the edge of the water and so wasn't watching as I holed my putt. When he eventually returned and dropped about 7 reclaimed balls onto the green, he 2 putted for a 6. Ha ! Clearly he was no longer in 'the zone'.

And the moral is : it doesn't take a lot of balls to hole a short putt.

The reason for only two of us playing the 17th was........rain.

Our normal foursome was half way down the 15th when we actually saw the approaching rain sweeping across in front of us like a Saharan sandstorm. Deciding to go the way of our tee shots, we headed off the fairway and found some trees - although it has to be said that palm trees don't give much cover from rain. Sod all in fact. But psychologically at least we felt better and after a few minutes, the shower passed and we played on.

The dark clouds quickly formed again and with them came more rain. This time Barrie and Jack decided to throw in the towel and zoomed off to the clubhouse and its bar. Blair and I used our towel to wipe off the cart seat and again, played on. Seconds later the rain eased off and then stopped as it often does in Florida.

Maybe it was because after the showers we pretty much had our part of the course to ourselves (and the bar was packed) and we were able to relax and take our time, but I played the last 4 holes in 3 over par...quite an achievement for me as there are two par 5's in there.

Of course when recounting my exploits to Jack and Barrie in the bar, they cast doubts on the accuracy of my scoring as they hadn't been there !! Me ? Cheat ? I blame the drink for such a scurrilous suggestion.

Finally, as if to again prove the 'ramblingness' of this blog, here is a photo I took on Sunday from my armchair. I often see tiny lizards scuttling across the concrete but this one was sitting sunning itself on top of a sprinkler block just a few feet away from the window. It would shake its body and then fan out the loose skin under its throat which I assume would normally be a procedure used either during mating or to warn off potential attackers. Or both. It did it over and over before I decided to get my camera and it continued to do it long after I'd taken a few photos and a video clip and then got bored with it ! Very odd.

So there you have it. The highlights of the last 3 days here. Yes there was a big football game during a Madonna concert and a load of people died and even more were born and a bit of snow fell in the UK but come on...surely stories about socks, golf and lizards give the finger to all those events ?

Too soon ?

The Return Of The Peckers.

Around this time last year, I blogged about woodpeckers in the park. They pecked on wood as is their nature but they also realised that by pecking on our house's "tin" roofs, they'd get their message out much further.

If it's one thing I've learned from shows like the BBC's Earthflight, it's that birds are clever and adaptable. Even so, I'm still not sure if the park's woodpeckers rat-a-tat on the roofs to amplify their "mating pecks" or if they're just too stupid to tell the difference between wood and metal !

It has to be the former as how stupid do you have to be to make the same mistake over and over.

I mean they're birds, not politicians.

Anyway they're back. A couple of mornings ago I heard the familiar sound on wood and then a few minutes later, the same on metal. So far, the bird or birds are not as close as last year which is fine by me. I'm ok hearing their noise at 7am when it's around 3 on the volume scale but when they were on next door's roof last February, it was more THX than Bose and it was as jarring as waking up to Jonathan Ross on the radio.

Still, there is a sort of comfort in this avian continuity. I like when animals and birds return every year. Clearly these woodpeckers like the park and why wouldn't they ?

Or maybe it's just the quality of our roofs !

Heavy metal woodpeckers. Darwin would've been proud.

Watching You, Watching Me.

So we went into town today.....shopping......for 6 hours !

Actually it was mostly fun as the trip included having breakfast and going to the library where I left with a John Grisham and a Tom Clancy. Woohooo.

For a small town, Sebring has a fabulous library with every modern facility imaginable from free internet on numerous workstations to bar code reading 'do-it-yourself' checkouts. You don't need to interact with a staff member at all.

So after we had breakfasted and libraried (my blog, my made up word, ok ?), we went to the first of 3 furniture stores to look for a new reclining chair and to checkout dining tables and end tables and.....well anything furniturey really (yes, yes, same rule, see above !).

Now I donno about you (obviously), but the sales people in furniture stores drive me nuts. You go in and one will always appear as if from a nearby hidden closet.

"Hello......welcome to Chipboard City. Can I help you today ?"

"Ah no thank you. We're just looking".

"That's fine. My name is Pushybitch......just give me a shout if you want any help."

And that SHOULD be it. You SHOULD be able to wander around the store, safe in the knowledge that should you need to know how to use a chair or find out how a dining table works, Pushybitch will be at your side should you call for her.

In reality it seems these people don't believe you can work chairs and tables on your own and so they lurk. Some do more than lurk, they stalk. Oh if you turn around quickly they'll suddenly find a cushion to plump or a table arrangement to move an inch but really they're desperately listening for the slightest opportunity to close the gap and give you unwanted information.

Me : "I donno. I don't like this colour or fabric."

Whoooosh...as Pushybitch appears as if by magic.

Pushybitch : "Oh it comes in different colours and fabrics, sir. We can order whatever your little heart desires and it'll be delivered in 6-8 weeks."

Then they fall back again but are still within earshot and follow you around as if you're going to try and get a 3 piece suite out the door without being seen.

Manager : "We seem to be losing stock at an alarming rate, Pushybitch."

Pushybitch (sobbing) : "But the customers told me they're just looking and I believed them."

Manager : "WHAT ??!! Yer fired."

We went to 3 different furniture stores today and I'm pretty sure I spotted the salesperson from the first store following us in the 3rd store !

In one store, we thought we'd escaped by going out a door into a sort of quasi outside area full of recliner chairs and were pretty sure we'd made the move unseen. Not so. A few minutes later the door opened and in walked the salesperson with a triumphant look on his face. I half expected him to say 'my turn now' and ask us to count to 100.

And it's no use asking them to let you walk around alone. Oh no. They're wise to that devious tactic. They pretend to be doing an inventory which amazingly involves taking the very same route around the store as you.

It was so bad at the 2nd store that I walked past a chair and then decided to try it out and when I backed onto it, I found myself on the salesperson's knee !

I guess they're all on commission so don't want to lose a sale to some johnny-cum-lately colleague who happened to be near us when we made our decision. And some people may LIKE having a salesperson walk with them around the store.

I just don't. I especially don't when I've made it clear at the outset that I want to look around by myself. I just wish they'd realise that doesn't mean I want a conjoined twin nattering in my ear at every step.

Mind you, then there is Office Max. We went there too. They've adopted the same policy as WalMart who a long time ago, decided customers know how to work everything from an orange to a laptop computer so why employ anyone except checkout staff.

At Office Max today there was one checkout girl. That was it. And it was wonderful. We looked at 'stuff' and weren't bothered by anyone asking if they could help us. We picked up diaries and Filofax inserts and instinctively knew how they worked. I tried out a felt tip pen as if I was born to do so and although a box of paper clips had me stumped for a few minutes, I did quickly work out how to use them. All on my own. It was a wonderful shopping experience.

So to all sales staff everywhere. If I enter your store and tell you I just want to look around on my own, please respect my wishes.

If I want a stalker, I can find plenty on Facebook and Twitter.

London Calling....Send More String.

Well it's the first day of a new month and already a lot has happened.

Leeds United sacked their manager after last night's embarrassing 4-1 home defeat to Birmingham.

40 people moved into the park.

It's still pretty cold in Europe.

Stocks rose sharply on both sides of the pond.

And I had a bratwurst for lunch.

I firmly believe those last two were influenced by each other !

Actually I'd arranged to meet Debby for lunch down by the cafe next to the lake so I rode my bike down there and ordered the Wednesday Special......a bratwurst, a bag of chips (crisps to non Americans) and a diet Sprite all for $3 (£1.90). A bargain.

Of course the outdoor location in the shady grove beside the lake was priceless and a seaplane landing during the meal provided entertainment too. I'm not sure WHY it landed but it was a short visit as seconds later it took off again and soon became a speck in the azure blue sky.

Did I mention the sky was blue ? And the temp was 81F ? Well they were....and are.

After the meal, I rode around the park to burn off the calories just consumed. It was lovely to be out peddling in the warm sunshine and waving to everyone. Sometimes I felt like Patrick McGoohan going around "The Village" so I kept a wary eye out for errant weather balloons.

There were quite a few residents lying sunbathing around the main swimming pool and one or two in the water. The heated water I'll have you know ! Pampered lot that we are.

As I peddled past, the air was full of coconut sun block cream mixed with Oil of Olay, a heady mix that almost knocked me off my bike. There were two doubles games taking place on the adjacent tennis courts although rallies tended to be over quickly. Any return going back over the net was almost always a winner !

Speaking of sport, last Monday we played golf at a new course for me, the South course at Highlands Ridge. It was out between Sebring and Avon Park with orange groves down one side of some fairways. There is a rumour that as we walked up the fairway on one of these holes, an orange may have been plucked and shared between us.

Allegedly.

The course even had slopes on one or two holes and the 18th had a drop from tee to green that I never knew existed in boringly flat old Florida. As we were pretty tired by the 18th, we were glad it WAS a drop down and not a climb up. I mean we had golf carts as usual but even SEEING climbs can be tiring !

I know. I've become a tad lazy and spoiled when it comes to golf now and I'm not sure I could even play anymore without the use of a cart.

Several balls were lost to the waters crossing many of the fairways and guarding even more of the greens. We also spent more time in the sand than a family on an outing to Bridlington and much (technical) cursing turned the air the colour of the sky at times.

But it was great fun. We had a ball.

Sadly we needed several more.

Finally today is Old Scotland Yard Phone Number Day, a little known "day" I just made up around the date if written correctly. Written to fit this tenuous link in fact.

Back in the day, when making a phone call meant tightening the string between two tin cans, phone numbers in UK towns and cities that required more than 10,000 numbers were made up of 3 letters and 4 numbers.

London district names would be shortened to 3 letters and as the original Scotland Yard (the London Metropolitan Police HQ) was in Whitehall, its number became WHI-1212. Bizarrely this never really caught on whereas the full name and number did. On many crime tv shows of the time, the shout would go up to ring Scotland Yard on Whitehall 1212.

So what has that got to do with today ? Well as we in the UK put the day first when writing the date, today is 1/2/12 or....drum roll......1212.

Told you it was tenuous.

One of these days I'll work out how to make this blog entertaining as well as educational !

Until then I'm off to get the sand out of my shoes.

Ancient News - You Heard It Here First.

As my old mate Erasmus once said...."In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is King."

Actually what he said was..... "In regione caecorum rex est luscus" but he was a clever clogs and liked to show off by speaking in Latin.

It's a little known fact, but I was taught Latin and Greek at school. And Ancient History.

I actually chose two of those and the other, Latin, was thrust upon me. I think that back in the day in Northern Ireland, every Catholic child was taught Latin if only to make the Mass a bit more interesting as you could translate as it went along !

Sadly this never worked for me and going to Mass EVERY day, I simply 'learned' the words parrot fashion and hadn't a clue what they meant. Thus I could recite large chunks of Latin to anyone who cared to listen but couldn't order a case of wine from an Italian vineyard if you paid me. Not that they spoke Latin either but my point is, combining the Latin from the Mass with the Latin I learned in school has been as much use to me in later life as the high hopes I had for the condom I bought in the hot summer of 1968.

Basically.....no use whatsoever.

And then there was Greek. Oh not modern Greek which might have been useful on a later trip to Greece. No, this was Ancient Greek. Another dead language. I could talk about battles and generals and what Leonidas wore to a Friday night orgy (not much as it happens !) but as for shopping at a modern Athenian mall, I'd have been clueless.

So why pick it ? Well it was a choice between Greek or Irish so for me it was a no brainer. I always felt a bit sorry for the 98% of the Greek class who had actually chosen Irish but to even out the numbers and ensure the 2 of us who chose Greek weren't lonely, they were forced to learn Greek. Hehe. No actually I didn't feel sorry for them at all.

Since leaving school in 1970, I've never uttered a word of ancient Greek and to my knowledge the only Latin words I've spoken have been a few temper fugits and the occasional semper fi (semper fidelis really) when getting into a modern war movie. Oh and I may have thrown in a few other well known phrases ad nauseam.

Including ad nauseam if fact.

Now I know a lot of legal and medical terms have Latin or Greek roots but then again I'm not a lawyer or a doctor so it's hard for me to take comfort from that fact. I guess my 45 year old knowledge of Latin/Greek can come in handy when I hear some new technical word as I can have a decent stab at what it means.

But I've never regretted choosing Ancient History as a school subject. As a teenager I loved Homer's stories long before they were used as a basis for The Simpsons. Being a shy child at boarding school, I'd often transport myself to the golden age of classical heroes and battle with the Cyclops and Medusa and sail the Aegean Sea finding adventures and excitement galore. Often I'd be a Spartan warrior with my helmet and shield (and not a lot else it seems) and fight anyone who glared at me. School bullies beware !

In reality, I'd probably have been one of the many babies thrown off the cliffs when it became clear I'd need glasses and be bald in later life ! Only the bestest kids survived in Sparta.

(I know, I know. This myth has been debunked by experts now but once again, this is MY blog)

Strictly speaking, Ancient History wasn't really about all that but it did give me a life long love of The Iliad and The Odyssey and I think everyone should read them in some form. Just don't watch any version of Jason And The Argonauts. Hollywood crap.

Now if you're wondering when I'm going to get to the point and tie all this Latin/Greek/Ancient History stuff in with something that maybe happened on, say, the golf course yesterday.........well you'll have a long wait.

I just woke up this morning and for some unknown reason, that "one-eyed King" phrase popped into my head and a blog post was born.

Sometimes, just sometimes, a blog post can be that random.