It's a little known fact that Florida gets better weather than England, at least my part of England, 'oop north' as they say. We've had a relatively dry summer this year but not a sunny, warm one and any tan I got in Florida over the winter, has all but faded now.
This is a good thing. You see I'm not a sunbather and so any tan I get over the winter tends to come from just daily living there. As t-shirt and shorts are the order of the day, my face, arms and legs return to England looking like they've been in the tropics while the rest of my body looks like it's spent the winter down a mineshaft in Chile. As a result, I couldn't possibly reveal my torso here even on those rare summer days when the temperatures make it an option.
Then again, being about 30 lbs overweight is another good reason !
So as I see it, I have two options to overcoming this two tone problem over this coming winter.
The first option is to 'fully' expose my now uniformly pale Brit body to the Florida sun at every opportunity. Worry not, Floridians, as when I say 'fully', I've no intention of becoming a part time naturalist. For one thing, those 30 extra lbs rule that idea out. This also won't be a great sacrifice as I want to do much more walking and swimming this winter, two activities where it's acceptable to go topless......for men anyway.
The other option has several obvious drawbacks and might make me stand out even more than I would if I wandered around flashing my man boobs to the world.
And anyway, where could I get a burqa in blue ?